


The Irony of Loki's Revenge

by MischievousMistress



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 23:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MischievousMistress/pseuds/MischievousMistress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki returns to Earth intending on getting revenge and fulfilling his plans to rule, however, once he crosses paths with the familiar mortal Tony Stark, he finds himself disturbed, while the reunion works out in Tony's favor. What will become of Loki and his precious plans?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Parallel

**Author's Note:**

> This story sort of takes place after the Avengers, and after Thor 2, but before Iron Man 3 - however Tony does have anxiety.  
> I wrote this before Thor 2 came out so I didn't know what had happened with Loki, so, I just improvised what happened;  
> Loki had been put in an Asgardian jail until a proper punishment could be thought of for his actions on Earth. Thor interrupted that by needing Loki's help to save Earth. Once Earth was safe and the job was done, Loki didn't want to go back to Asgard, so he betrayed Thor and they battled, and Loki lost. His punishment for betraying Thor and the whole New York thing was the Isle of Silence - which is where this chapter comes in;

At the time, it didn't matter what was happening. All that mattered was the fact that things were happening that needed to be stopped. That was the first priority; stopping it all. No matter how confusing, mind blowing or seemingly impossible things were, it came second to stopping it all and bringing safety back to the city - and to the rest of the planet.  
What exactly didn't matter? ...Where to start?  
There were two Gods from a whole other realm, one which was trying to take over the realm known as Earth, and the other which was sworn to protect it. That was a lot to take in... Gods, other realms, magic, not being alone in the world... but, it didn't matter. It had to wait. What Tony had to focus on was stopping the God that wanted to rule the world.  
Being accompanied by a scientist that was known to turn into a ginormous green rage monster, and could easily rip everyone to pieces in a single second? ... Alright, well that wasn't as big of a worry to Tony - it was quite the topic, really. He was rather eager to see it. He only just had a little too much faith that Doctor Banner could learn to control himself.  
The weirdest Ali? Rogers. Everything he was, was defying science and logic. His strength came from a bottle - a bottle from Tony's own father. To Steve, it was just the other day that he saw Howard Stark, working hard during the war. He wakes up and suddenly seventy years go by and Howard isn't around anymore. All that was left was his son. Sure, it was pretty weird for Rogers, no doubt, but it was without doubt at least equally weird for Tony. Seeing a man, in the same mental and physical state that he was in seventy years ago when was dealing with Tony's father? Tony was seeing the exact same man that his father was... though, he didn't understand what the big deal was.  
Let's not forget the death of poor Coulson. That took a toll on Tony, hitting him hard - but he didn't have time to let that get to him. He had to focus on saving the city.  
Putting all of that aside, there was  _still_  a lot to take in and deal with. For instance, the loon on the loose that was trying to take over the world, his army of aliens from outer space that were pouring out of the sky from a portal, and Tony's city being blown to bits.  
It was a lot, but Tony managed to push it all out of his mind long enough to do what needed to be done.  
Then it was over. Just like that. No explanation, no nothing. It was just over.  
Of course Tony had initially planned on talking about what had happened, and getting answers - especially from Thor, but he had to leave. Not that Tony wanted him to stay long enough for Loki to escape somehow, but even just five minutes with Thor would have been satisfying enough. The thought of having answers was what kept Tony going for so long. He thought that everything that didn't make sense could be explained to make sense. He thought it would all be okay.

Now, Tony had been having nightmares. What could solve that? Nothing.  
The... 'Avengers' had gone their separate ways until they needed to be rejoined, again. The only one who stayed nearby was Steve, and that was because he didn't know of any other person or place to go, but Tony couldn't talk to him, or any of them, to relate about what happened and try to make sense of it. Even if he could, he was sure that they didn't want to bring everything up and remember it all over again - especially purposely. Or maybe it was just Tony who didn't want that. Either way, discussing it with those who were there, was out of the question.  
Who else could he talk to? Pepper? No. She just said that it was over, all in the past now, it's done with and should be forgotten. Besides, they were on the rocks and their relationship was not headed in the best direction.  
A therapist, or psychiatrist? No, they wouldn't understand. Nobody would. Not even the civilians that were put in immediate danger could understand. Did they go inside one of those giant monsters? Did they go up in space (to who knows how many light years away?) and see the rest of these aliens - and their main ship? Were they threatened by a God himself? Thrown out of a window of their own home that was somewhere near almost one hundred stories high?  
A lot happened, and it all happened so fast. Tony's thoughts and memories were all mixed up; with parts missing because they weren't things he wanted to remember.  
What had happened was giving Tony major confusion and so many mixed feelings... he wasn't quite sure how to deal with them.

Screaming.  
Someone was suddenly screaming.  
Tony jumped, having been scared awake. It was him; he had been the one screaming. He didn't even remember going to bed.  
He took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before blowing it out, trying to calm himself.  _It was just a dream_ , he told himself. He knew it wasn't, though. He had a nightmare about what happened. He had been dreaming of dying. Dying in space, all alone. The only thing in sight was enemies that would have killed him if they were close enough. Dying... without even a final goodbye to the one he loved - Pepper. Sure, he would have died so that he could save an entire city and the rest of the world, but he didn't want to die. Not like that, anyways.  
As much as Tony didn't want it to be, it was reality. He couldn't try to pass it off as just a dream. It happened. There was just no denying it. He still couldn't accept it and move on, though. Not without knowing what and how everything happened, and if it could be prevented from happening again. For all Tony knew... he could end up back in space, and he could die there.  
He rolled over and looked at the clock beside his bed. It was just past four in the morning. As usual. He always seemed to wake up at the same time every night.  
Four in the morning... Tony didn't consider that to be too late or early to have a drink, especially after the dream he had. He got himself out of bed and made his way down to his bar, letting his alcoholic tendencies get the best of him. He grabbed a glass, poured himself a drink, and sat down on the couch in the dark room and stared into the distance.  
He was lonely.  
Pepper went to her parents' house since she and Tony were on the rocks. Tony's constant nightmares and mood swings were almost too much for Pepper and she needed time. She was constantly being inconvenience because of him and nothing she did seemed to help in the least.  
What could she have said now, anyways? She's said everything. All she could do now was listen to Tony and tell him it'd be okay.. but he didn't want to talk about it, and he knew it wouldn't be okay.  
Tony sighed, and began thinking about everything that happened, and if he'd ever be okay again, and how far away that might be.  
Somehow, being okay... just didn't seem like something that would ever happen.

**Meanwhile...**

"Father," Thor protested, stepping upon the steps before the great Odin. "Are you really going to banish him to the -"  
"Yes!" Odin hissed before his son could finish. "Look at what he has done. Look at who he has become. Loki has become a great evil, and is too much of a threat to just lock up somewhere."  
"Is there not anywhere else; no other way?"  
"I am afraid not. If there were..."  
Thor bowed his head in defeat. "I understand," he accepted. As much as Thor wanted to try to suggest something, or come to an agreement of some sort, he knew he couldn't. Loki was mischievous. Thor knew as well as Odin that something would happen. Loki would do something. He'd escape. Maybe not in the first month, maybe not in the first year, but Loki would find a way. He wasn't known as the God of Mischief for no reason.  
As Thor retreated from the steps, he glanced up, just in time to meet his brother's gaze. Thor looked at him, in such a way that let his brother know how sorry he was that he couldn't help; how sorry he was for what happened, and that he couldn't protect his own little brother.  
Thor had tried to reason with Loki several times before, but he seemed to be too far beyond reason. Every time Thor had tried to help Loki, Loki ignored it all and ended up in more trouble than before. Thor knew that there was no hope for his brother anymore; he knew there was no way to change Loki back to who he used to be, but it was still difficult to accept.  
Loki stared back at Thor, but with a look of hatred and disgust. Why would Thor try to stick up for him and try to get something less than what he deserved? After everything Loki had done to him? They weren't even brothers. Loki didn't want Thor's help, or pity. Loki understood how things were. He brought it on himself, but he had a plan. He always had a plan.  
Loki's banishment? That wasn't bad. It didn't matter where he was being banished to, so long as he was anywhere but where he was; in Asgard, stuck being ruled by a liar and a thief.  
It was only natural that Loki thought Odin didn't want him around, anymore. Why would he? It was no longer about what Loki did, it was about Odin simply not liking Loki; he was a frost giant, after all.  
Odin lied to Loki, for his entire life. Not only that - but he raised Loki as a lesser being to Thor. Thor was always put above Loki. Always. No matter if it were something as simple as a drawing. No matter how good Loki's was, or how bad Thor's was, Odin seemed to always pay a little more attention to Thor.  
What else was Loki to do in Asgard except to rot in some cell that wouldn't hold him? He didn't want to be there and he wasn't wanted there. Getting banished, was actually something Loki looked forward to.  
The utter most peace and quiet imaginable, away from Thor, Odin and Asgard. It seemed rather perfect.

As Odin began summoning his magic to banish Loki, Thor looked over at his brother once more, possibly, for the last time. He looked at what his brother had become, in such a short period of time.  
Thor was truly aching as he had to watch his father banish his own brother, and for eternity. With everything in him, he wished that there was something much simpler; possibly similar to the treatment Thor got. Stripping Loki of his powers and sending him to an area surrounded by harmless mortals sounded like a half decent idea. With no powers at all, Loki couldn't do much harm... right?  
Was it possible for Loki to ever be harmless, again? To Thor, Loki was still that little child that wanted to grow up and be king, just as bad as Thor did. Thor had remembered playing together, laughing together, pulling pranks and joking together, doing stupid things and getting in trouble together, learning together. Thor simply remembered everything as they grew up together, as brothers. He had always considered Loki to be his equal. He tried to get him to understand that... but Loki was the one thinking of himself so much less than Thor, he had assumed Thor felt the same as him and their father. To Thor... no matter who Loki's parents were, or what he did, they would always be brothers.  
A portal suddenly appeared before Loki. He went to step inside, but Odin grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Loki. Son."  
Loki tried to object to himself being Odin's son, but his mouth had been sewn shut, so he simply had to settle for shooting Odin the most disgraceful look of disgust he could manage. Odin was, indeed, in no position to call Loki his son. After what he had just done? Forcing Thor to sew his own brother's lips shut? What kind of father would do that? ... One that felt nothing but hatred towards his 'son.'  
However, Odin thought that, by giving Loki such a horrid punishment, having his lips sewn shut by his brother, he'd realize how horrible his actions were, and how speaking lies only made things worse. That, however, did not work. Odin only added to the anger and hatred Loki felt, making him more of a threat.  
"I am very disappointed in you and the choices you have made," Odin continued. "I hope that one day you realize what you have done and why it is wrong. You are deserving of the punishment I am giving you. I do not know if this will teach you anything, but I hope that leaving you alone with nothing but your thoughts will do you good. Even if it is too late to fix, you must realize what you have done to yourself and everyone around you." Odin stared at Loki for a brief moment, one last time, before pushing him into the portal, sending him off to the Isle of Silence.  
When Loki was teleported to his new home, where he had been banished for eternity, the first thing he did was fall on the hard, colourless ground. His powers had been stripped of him. It was overwhelming. He had never felt so weak. For as long as he was banished, Loki Laufeyson was a mortal. A pathetic, powerless, mere mortal, and absolutely nothing more. It truly was the worst feeling ever.  
He rolled over on his back, and wiggled his hands out of his handcuffs. He threw them, but his weak, mortal hands were only able to toss them few small feet.  
If he were able to, he would have cursed Odin's name for what he had done, but even if his lips hadn't been sewn shut, he was in the Isle of Silence. Silence. There was absolutely no noise, whatsoever. Nothing but complete and utter silence.  
What a dreadful place. No sound, no colour. Nothing for him to entertain himself with... Not that he'd need much entertaining. He wouldn't be stuck in such a dull place for very long.  
Loki smiled on the inside, keeping his face straight, as it would hurt too much to move his lips, even the slightest. The first part of his plan was complete. The rest would soon start unraveling.  
He got himself up to his feet, and slowly made his way over to a large rock, where he sat down.  
All there was left to do, was wait. Oh, how Loki hated waiting. Everyone knew that, too, so he knew he wouldn't have to wait for very long. Only a fool would keep the God of Mischief waiting.  
As time began passing and Loki was still alone, he sat upon a large rock, and rested his elbow on his knee, and his forehead in his hand. He should not have been stuck on such an isle for so long that he would become bored. Surely, he would save the wrath he felt, for whom was deserving of it.

Suddenly, a light appeared. It was faint, but slowly grew, until it was a full portal, with colour on the other side. It was exactly what Loki had been waiting for. The Enchantress stepped out of the portal and looked around the dark, gloomy isle. She simply shook her head in disapproval, and waved Loki over to return through the portal with her.

Loki rose from his rock, and stared at the Enchantress. Though he couldn't smile, the happiness and approval could clearly be seen in his eyes. He walked over to the Enchantress, and stepped through the portal with her.  
He was suddenly surrounded with colour, noises of all sorts, and he could feel his power returning to him. Though is was returning slowly, he was getting his power back nonetheless, and that was the most overwhelmingly pleasurable feeling he had ever experienced. After feeling the weakest he had ever felt before, he was gradually feeling stronger than ever, and he loved it.  
The first thing he did? Heal his mouth as much as he could, of course. Loki Laufeyson was not okay with having his lips sewn shut. He had far too many things of great importance to say. Unfortunately, with the little bit of power he had that was returned to him, he could only undo the sewing that Thor that done. He would have to fix the rest as his power finished returning.  
He turned to the Enchantress and grinned. He grinned the sort of grin that only one as mischievous as him could pull off. Just by his smile, the Enchantress could tell that Loki was thankful (which was good, because Loki wasn't one for thanking), and he had a plan that he knew was going to work. The confidence in his grin was unparalleled.  
"Come," Loki spoke to the Enchantress, keeping his grin plastered upon his face. "Let us pay a visit to Midgard."  
"Let's," the Enchantress agreed, with a grin almost as evil as Loki's.  
Loki joined his newly re-possessed power with the Enchantress' to transport the two of them to Midgard, where he would once again try to rule the planet, and everyone in it. This time, there were no Avengers to stop him. Nobody knew he had escaped. Thor and Odin would still be thinking he was stuck in the Isle of Silence, while he was actually free, and taking over the planet. They had no way of knowing otherwise. Loki would not fail this time. Of course not. Humans were made to be ruled. They were so easy to rule. How could he fail? He couldn't. He  _wouldn't._


	2. Two Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki and Tony have a reunion of sorts...

Once on Midgard, Loki immediately turned to the Enchantress to demand her absence. "Go. My brother will surely learn of the disturbance to be created on this planet. His knowledge of my escape must be put off for as long as possible. You must create a false disturbance for when he comes to investigate what he's sworn to protect."  
"Of course," the Enchantress accepted, as she backed into a ball of green fire, disappearing.  
Having more of his power returning, he attempted to heal himself, again. He had still not had enough power to have his lips back to normal. They weren't injured anymore, though. Just scarred. He would have to fix that again, later.  
"Now then," Loki muttered to himself as he turned around. "It's time for some fu-" He cut himself off, realizing where he was.

**Meanwhile...**

As Tony was unable to sleep, he decided to go wondering about, hoping to find something that could possibly put him to sleep. He ended up standing by the window, staring out into the dark, starry sky as the sun was just beginning to crack on the horizon.  
Suddenly something off caught his eye. He was no longer sure if he was awake or if he was having another nightmare. He didn't know whether or not he should be afraid. He stared at the figure standing on his landing zone of his catwalk, and questioned whether or not the God that was supposed to be facing Asgardian Justice, was in fact standing just outside on his landing zone, with the possibility of wanting to murder him. Sure, Loki had just helped Thor  _save_ Earth, but that didn't mean Loki was on the good side. What reason could Loki have for visiting Tony if not to get revenge and kill him?  
For some reason, however, Tony didn't feel afraid. He felt... relieved. He could get some closure and his answers about everything that happened, right? Even if he were to die by taking the risk of talking to Loki, he could die in peace. It was a risk he had to take. It was better Loki than nothing, and maybe, just maybe, Tony was wrong about assuming Loki wanted to murder him. He slowly walked up his stairs and down the catwalk until he was standing just a few feet away from the demi-god that had destroyed his city the last time he was on Earth. After what seemed like a year of silence, Tony finally spoke. "I believe I owe you a drink," he offered, staring into Loki's green eyes.  
Loki stared at him, puzzled. It was only the last time that Tony offered Loki a drink, that Loki was out to kill him and take over the world. Why would Tony be so hospitable? If it weren't for referencing Loki's last words, Loki might assume Tony had forgotten just who it was that was standing before him.  
"Well?"  
"Do you not know who I am?" Loki asked.  
"Yeah, you're Thor's brother. The Demi-God. Loki. You tried to rule the world and kill me and my friends. I remember you," Tony nodded.  
"Why is it that after all of the trouble I have caused you, I come before you once again, and all you can do is offer me a drink?"  
"I don't like owing things. I'd prefer to give you that drink and get it over with."  
"Really, Stark?" Loki challenged, trying to pry the truth out.  
"I don't want you to go away, again. Not yet."  
"Are you planning to threaten me?" Loki chuckled, "that did not go so well for you last time."  
"Why would I threaten you? I've waited too long to get the answers that I need. If I have to get them from the guy who destroyed my city and almost killed me and my friends, well, I'll take that over no answers at all."  
"A little desperate, are we?"  
"Do you want the drink or not?" Tony asked as he began walking down to his bar to get a drink for himself.  
"I do not owe you any answers, mortal."  
"I think you do," Tony argued as he turned to face Loki. "You not only come to my planet intending to rule it, but you come back again, I don't know why. I think I deserve a few answers about why and where you came from. I owe you a drink, you owe me a few answers. Seem fair?"  
Loki stared at him. He didn't owe anyone anything, especially some mortal that ruined everything for him. However, as much as Loki did not obey orders, especially from some mortal... giving the Enchantress at least a few minutes to get a distraction ready for Thor seemed wise. Thor was pretty gullible and stupid, but even he would eventually figure out that whatever it was the Enchantress had planned was just a distraction. The Enchantress needed something large enough to keep Thor distracted for as long as possible. Besides, what else was there for Loki to do in the meantime? He was already at Tony's tower, and angering Tony, the Iron Man, within the first few minutes of Loki's arrival did not seem to be overly wise... "free drinks. I suppose can't say no to that... as long as it is a  _real_  drink. I do not wish to waste my time with your pathetic mortal beverages."  
"What's my name?"  
Loki stared at Tony, confused as to why he was asking for his own name.  
"My name. Who am I?"  
"Stark?"  
" _Tony_. I am Tony Stark. I am Iron Man. I'm a billionaire. Do you think  _I_ , of all people, would have 'pathetic' alcohol?"  
"Do not forget that I am a god."  
"Do not forget that I am a billionaire," Tony mimicked.  
The corner of Loki's mouth lifted up slightly at Tony's ignorance and arrogance. "Alright then, Tony Stark. Show me what you've got."  
Tony continued making his way down the catwalk, leading Loki into his bar.  
As Tony got two glasses out and set them on the counter, Loki questioned him. "If you drink, will you not forget anything I might tell you? You mortals are weak that way..."  
Tony shook his head as he poured himself more alcohol than he usually gives himself, "I don't know how much I'll want to remember."  
Loki chuckled as he watched Tony pour his drink, "well then," Loki sat down on Tony's couch, making himself comfortable. "I suggest you give yourself a little more than that."  
Tony stared at Loki, not quite sure if he was trying to intimidate him, or if behind his chuckle, it was some genuine advice. Either way, Tony filled his glass to the brim, then poured half a glass for Loki."So, first question," he began as he walked towards Loki with the drinks in hand.  
"Already? You haven't even handed me my drink. I do believe that is more overdue than your questions."  
Tony set Loki's half full glass down on the table in front of him, and sat down on the couch parallel to the couch Loki was sitting on. He opened his mouth to begin his questioning, but couldn't think of any of his questions. They had all slipped his mind. A lot of them had been answered just by the sight of Loki. What happened, was real. More importantly, it was back. The only problem was, this time, Tony couldn't just push everything away and fight. He was desperate for his answers; knowing what happened and how. Now that he finally had his chance, he couldn't think of anything. He was positive that he wouldn't even be able to get the words out.  
"Well?" Loki asked after a while. "What are your questions?"  
"I don't know," Tony mumbled. "I can't think right now. This is too much."  
"So, you call me in here demanding that I owe you answers, then you've got none?"  
"You've already answered them..."  
"What have I answered?"  
"You're real."  
Loki stared at Tony in slight disbelief and confusion. "You wanted to know merely if I were real or not?"  
"No. Well, yes, but not..."  
"Oh, enough," Loki interrupted, standing from his seat. "As you've no questions to ask, I see no reason to waste my time here any longer. I have more important things at hand. You are positive that you've nothing to ask? The next time we meet I may not be so generous as to allow you to question me."  
Tony stared at the wall across the room, completely out of it. Only one thing was going through his head. Loki, the God that came to Earth to destroy and rule, was back.  
Loki nodded, accepting Tony's silence as his answer, and headed for Tony's elevator without another word.  
After a few moments, Tony jumped up, and headed down to his computer. He immediately began searching for any information about Loki that was unknown to him that could possibly be helpful in any way. However, for some reason the internet connection was unbearably slow. "Why is the connection so slow?!" Tony snapped. "Jarvis. What is going on?"  
"It seems that there is somebody or something on the roof, sir."  
Tony let out a heavy, frustrated sigh. Of all possible times for something to go wrong, it had to be the most inconveniencing time. He got up and put on his suit, then flew up to the roof to see who was doing what. He was almost surprised to see whom the figure wondering about, tinkering with things was. Tony hovered in place and raised his hand, locking on Loki as a target.  
Loki looked up towards Tony who had his hand out towards him, ready to attack. "Is that any way to greet a guest?"  
"Since when are you my guest? You left. You're not welcome here anymore."  
"Now, where else do I have to go, Stark?"  
"You're so fond of making people do things for you. Make someone give you a bed for the night."  
"That's what I'm  _trying_  to do."  
Tony lowered his hand, and stared at him. "Why here? Why me?"  
"No other reason than because your living space is the nicest. This is what you wanted, is it not? To have the best of everything and have everyone's attention?"  
"Not yours."  
"C'mon, Stark. Surely the man who has everything can help out one which has nothing?"  
"Why would I help you?"  
"If you don't, I will kill you."  
"What makes you think you can kill me? You were defeated -"  
"By a couple of professional assassins, once of which I was easily able to mind control, a soldier with bottled strength, a monster, you; a man in an impressive suit, and a Demi-God. Fighting you one-on-one? I am at an advantage, and you've no one to help to you this time. I can not be defeated."  
Tony landed himself on his roof in front of Loki and opened his helmet so he could have proper eye contact with him. "Why are you even here? What do you want?"  
"I think you should go and grab that drink before you ask things you aren't ready to hear the answer to."  
"Oh, what's the matter? Big bad Demi-God has no problem throwing me out of my own window, but when it comes to telling me why he's back on Earth, suddenly that's too much for me to handle? Spare me your feelings and just try me."  
Loki nodded. "Alright, mortal -"  
"My name isn't 'mortal.'"  
" _Stark_ ," Loki corrected. "I am here because your planet has yet to be ruled."  
"We have leaders."  
"One mere planet does not need multiple leaders if ruled correctly. I can rule this planet and I can do it right. You people need -"  
"Have you not learned? You can't just come to a planet and decide to take it over. You were already defeated once before. We've done it once, we can defeat you, again."  
"We? Who is this ' _we_ ' you speak of? Your heroes are not around to help you this time. Thor, the only one with a chance of stopping me? Well, he is still dull enough to think I am imprisoned on an isle that is inescapable. Where are your other teammates? Scattered, carrying on with their lives? I have come on a mission that I can and will not fail." Loki crossed his arms over his chest and smirked slightly, rather satisfied about how the conversation was going more in his favor.  
"I can easily get a hold of Bruce, Steve, Natasha and Clint. The five of us can stop you again, even without -" Tony stopped what he was saying when he realized he was challenging Loki, saying he could fight him, again,  _and_  win. Tony wasn't entirely sure if he could. Not again. Not in the state he's been in.  
"Why'd you stop?" Loki questioned.  
"Questions," Tony mumbled. Realizing he had more questions to ask and no drink to help him with the answers he was receiving, he began pacing back and fourth along the rooftop, slowly taking in a deep breath to prepare for the next answer. He certainly couldn't go get another drink. Not anymore. Loki didn't need to know just how weak Tony was and how much he depended on alcohol. "What happened? How was all of that possible?"  
"Your planet is far behind in what can and is happening in the universe."  
"So why not try to take over somewhere more advanced?"  
"You say 'take over' like it is a bad thing. I am doing you a favour. You humans should be thanking me, not questioning me. You are destroying each other, just look at yourselves. You're headed towards extinction the way you all live. I can help you. I can save you. All of you."  
"So, how is that you can save the ones that die because of you?"  
"If living is what they truly wished for, they would not have gotten themselves killed."  
"You probably don't know this, but throughout history we have fought for our  _freedom_. We don't need you to come in here right when we're all beginning to be free and take that away from us."  
"You are fighting not for what you need, but what you want. You are in need of more of my help than I had realized."  
"We don't need your 'help.' We have another 'God' helping us out, remember?"  
"Thor? He is not helping you. He is but a sad excuse merely for you humans not to worry. If you worry about not being safe, you'll only increase your weaponry and force other realms into thinking you are stronger and more advanced than you truly are. You are too currently weak for them to bother with or declare war upon; you wouldn't want to spoil that image. There are more dangers out there than you realize. Thor is only making you  _feel_  better." Loki scoffed, "look at how protective he is right now. I've again run off to rule your planet and Thor has not the slightest idea, nor will he for quite a while. How can he protect you when he knows not what happens on Midgard? He cannot. He can not really protect you mortals. I, however, can protect you and all of your people the way you should be protected."  
"So," Stark said, stopping to face Loki, "having a Demi-God  _on_  our planet, ruling or 'protecting' everyone doesn't tell these other realms that we're not weak, but making a few extra weapons does? If we're too weak for war and won't have anyone bothering us, why do we need your protection?"  
"Having me rule you will tell them that they have a God guarding them. They will know not to interfere with Midgard."  
"But Thor doesn't send out that message?"  
"Not when he's in Asgard idly standing by, having no idea what is happening."  
"Why did you come here?" Tony sighed, changing the subject. There was no sense in continuing to argue about the circumstances of Loki taking over Earth. There was no way Loki could have Tony see his point of view, or convince Tony that his ruling was a good thing - for anybody.  
"I have already told you. You mortals don't listen."  
"No. Why did you come  _here_. This continent. This country. This state. This city. This tower. Why did you come to  _me_?"  
"Merely because it was an easy target. Your tower is gigantic, does not move and I am familiar with it's placement. Do not flatter yourself, Stark."  
"Trust me, Asgardian, you being here is not something I would be flattered about."  
"Is that all, then?" Loki asked, getting annoyed with their pointless conversation that was going no where, fast.  
"Where did you come from? Who else is out there?"  
"I come from Asgard, one of nine realms."  
"What other realms are there?"  
"Alfheim, Hel, Muspelheim, Svartalfheim, Nidavellir, Muspelheim, Vanaheim, and... Jotunheim."  
Tony stared at him. He didn't know what to think. What could he think? How was he supposed to take that in? Not only did he know of seven more realms - realms that held life and life threatening aliens - but he knew their names. Any hope Tony had of denying the existence of anything, was gone. He really wished he had taken Loki's word on getting that drink. He needed it. "Is anyone else going to come here?"  
Loki shook his head. "You are too weak for anyone to declare war upon, -"  
"Then why are you?" Tony interrupted before Loki could finish.  
"I am not declaring war, I am merely trying to... assist, your planet."  
"Destroying and murdering is not assisting. Why did you and your people come to Earth in the first place?"  
"Asgard has only been involved with you because Odin robbed Thor of his powers and banished him to a place where he would not die without them, as others may do, as well."  
"Is this the  _only_  place Thor wouldn't die without - wait," Tony paused, interrupting himself. "'Like others may do, as well?'" he quoted Loki.  
Loki nodded, "your planet and yours alone is far behind in everything, from knowledge to power and everything in between. It is not significant enough to worry of what may happen if any creature gets banished. You cannot fight back nor would any realm suffer for your planet's population being wiped out if an attack was forced to be made on you if you attempted war. Earth is just a junkyard. Full of things that everyone finds useless, only used for junk or for lone creatures to hide."  
"I thought you said no one would declare war."  
"Banishment is not war. I said that none would declare war upon you, not that you would not get any more visitors."  
"You are terrible at giving answers," Tony growled as he began pacing, again.  
Loki headed for the door, "if that is how you feel, I will be on my way."  
"One more. What do I need to be prepared for?"  
"You need not be prepared for anything. All that need be done by you, is to make me your ruler. Having a God protect you is the greatest protection you could possibly use against anything else out there."  
"Man, you Asgardians are a pain in the ass. You are evil. There is no way you are going to rule Earth. We already have a God protecting us, we don't need another  _or_  a replacement." Tony sighed, "Earth may be behind in weaponry, but at least we've got brains. If anything dangerous gets banished here, I can take care of it. If I can't, then Thor will come back to help and take your sorry ass back to Asgard and give you some real justice."  
"Enough!" Loki nearly yelled. "I did not come back to this pitiful planet to be made a fool by some weak mortal. If you would prefer this so called 'protection' from my brother who can not even protect you from myself, that is fine. One mere human disagreeing with me will not stop me, but you  _will_  kneel before me and I  _will_  rule you. You will see. I no longer have the time to waste to answer these questions of yours. Stay out of my way and try not to ruin my plans, again."  
"Yeah, sure. Where are you going? You know, just so I know where not to go."  
"You should know, genius. Unless you really are the fool I take you for."  
"I'll just stay home then."  
"Will you?"  
"We'll see."  
"That we will." Loki stepped backwards into Tony's elevator, taking it down to the mail floor, leaving.  
"I need a drink," Tony said to himself when he was alone, taking in a deep breath. He flew back down to his bar and grabbed the first bottle he saw. "It's gonna be a long night. Might as well make it a fun one. JARVIS?"  
"Yes, sir?" Jarvis replied.  
"Which bar should I hit up first?"  
"Whichever you haven't been banned from, perhaps?"  
"Which ones are those?"  
"None, sir."  
"Nobody knows how to have fun anymore," Tony mumbled under his breath.  
"Might it be too early for a drink of that size?"  
"I'm just getting a good breakfast to prepare myself for the day."  
"I must remind you that in the morning you have -"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do me a favour and clear my morning?"  
"Yes, sir."  
"And the rest of today."  
"Consider it done."  
"Good." Tony collapsed himself onto the couch where he intended on remaining for the rest of the day and night. He wasn't sure if he wanted to remember or forget the conversation he had with Loki, so he would let the alcohol decide for him. He put his feet up on the coffee table and opened his bottle. He stared out the window, watching the sun crack on the horizon as he took the first of many large mouthfuls from his bottle.


	3. Maddness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki eagerly begins to fulfill his plans...

As the sun rose, so did a grin upon Loki's face. Though it was only mere hours that had passed since he had arrived on Midgard, he intended on unfolding his plans. It was the day that he had been planning for, and he had waited far too long. It had already felt like he had been waiting months on Midgard. He finally had his chance, and his damned brother wasn't around to get in the way. Loki just hoped that the Enchantress would do her job, and do it right. He would hate to see such an evil mind go to waste.  
Loki stared at the street and all of the mortals walking around. He noted that the majority of the males were wearing two different types of things: a black outfit similar to the one he had worn in Germany the last time he was in Midgard, and blue bottoms with many different types of tops.  
He found one man that had a somewhat decent looking outfit on that wasn't completely repelling to look at, as well as a container of some sort on his back, and contemplated using magic to duplicate the outfit on himself. The only problem was, if Loki used his magic, it could possibly catch Heimdall's attention, and Odin would use his magic to send Thor down to Midgard and just like that, everything would be ruined. That couldn't happen. Loki could not take any chances. He had to act as mortal as possible until he needed to use his magic. By then, it would be too late and there would be nothing Thor could do to stop him.  
Having quickly thought up a plan, he removed his helmet and set it out of sight in a dark corner in the alley he was hidden it. He casually walked out out onto the street and caught up to the man and spun him around by his shoulder. "Would you help me?" Loki pleaded, with tears in his eyes. "I was playing 'Avengers' with my son. He dressed up as the Avenger known as Thor, and I am Loki. Something happened and he broke his leg. He can't walk, there is blood everywhere. Please, come help me."  
"Yeah, sure, of course. Where is he?" the foolish, naive man responded, worriedly.  
"Right through here," Loki headed back into the alley with the mortal following him. As soon as they were both hidden inside the shadows, Loki gripped the man's throat and pinned him to the wall. "You foolish mortal."  
"Loki?" the man managed to get out, realizing that the game wasn't a game at all. "Are you going to kill me?"  
"Give me your clothes, mortal, and I will consider sparing your pathetic life."  
"My... my clothes?"  
Loki tightened his grip on the man's throat. "Was I unclear about my request?"  
The man shook his head ever so slightly.  
Loki let go of the man, and the man quickly undressed himself through his trembling hands and handed the clothes to Loki. Before he could ask if he was free to go, Loki demanded his shoes, as well.  
"What... am I supposed to walk in?"  
"I do not care for your insignificant mortal problems. Whether you obey or not, I will get those shoes. I do not want to have to go through the effort of cutting your legs off so that I can get them, but do not make the mistake of thinking that I will not."  
The man stood there, staring at Loki with terrified eyes. He quickly bent down and took his shoes and socks off. Loki grabbed the man by his throat again, and pulled him forward a few feet. "If you tell anyone of my presence in Midgard, I will murder you in ways no one has ever even thought of because it is so terrifyingly gruesome. Do you understand?"  
"Y-yes."  
Loki nodded, and threw the man on the ground, quite a few feet away. Though he would be in a fair amount of pain from that, the man got up and ran away, leaving his backpack behind.  
Unfortunately time was not something Loki had much of. He quickly undressed himself out of his armour, and put on his new clothes – a black shirt, blue jeans, and horridly uncomfortable shoes.  
He needed to bring his armour with him. It was necessary. Without magic, he had nothing to carry it in except for that backpack that the mortal ever so kindly left behind, but that wasn't big enough.  
Loki sighed. Since it was almost time for his plans to fall into place, and it was just a small bit of magic, he decided he would cast his magic to make the inside of the bag bigger than the outside. Even if Thor did come to Midgard now, it would still be too late.  
Once he was finished the spell, he put his helmet and armour into the big, and casually left the alley to continue out his plans. There was a place that Loki knew would not be populated, as the place was never populated in Asgard, or any realm. He did not need to visit all of the realms to know that. So that's exactly where he headed, once he figured out just where that was, of course.

**\- x - X - x -**

Drinks. Drinks, everywhere. So many different kinds.  
In a matter of hours, Tony had managed to down so much alcohol, and many different types, only passing out a few times. He had been making a line with ten shot glasses, grabbing the nearest bottles and pouring some of the alcohol in shot glasses, each shot glass containing alcohol from a different bottle, few of which were mixed with either juice or soda. One by one, he took the shots, finishing the line of ten in less than a minute. Feeling completely satisfied of himself for finishing the line in so little time, he rewarded himself with another line of shots, this time only consisting of five shots. Again, he finished in seconds.  
He stood up off of his stool, finished with the shots, but fell right back down to the ground, having the effects of the alcohol hitting him hard.  
"Jarvis?" Tony slurred, grabbing onto the counter to pull himself up to his feet. He felt the counter and grabbed his Colantotte bracelets and put them on.  
"Yes, sir?" Jarvis replied.  
"I need you to send out my suit."  
"Going somewhere?"  
"I don't know, yet. I just need my suit."  
"I highly recommend not putting on the suit while you are not sober."  
"Jarvis, I can handle it! Just send out my suit."  
"Yes, sir."  
Within seconds, Tony's suit was scanning his body, and then put itself on him.  
Tony immediately flew straight upwards, smashing through multiple floors and out through the roof. Realizing he was forgetting something very important, he dropped back down to where he was before he took off. He grabbed the bottle with the most alcohol left it, and shot himself back upwards, creating new holes in his floors and roof, not caring the slightest bit.  
When he took off he intended on going somewhere fun and partying, but as he took off and began flying aimlessly around the city looking for somewhere fun, he realized that just flying around in the sky at super sonic speed was fun enough for him (even though he couldn't fly straight), especially since he could stop every so often to hover in place to take a drink from his bottle.  
It was about an hour and some minutes later that his suit was getting rather low on power, so Tony turned off his thrusters, falling thousands of feet. He turned them on for a second every few seconds so he wouldn't hit the ground too hard.  
When he landed, he was in the middle of a dump, standing on top of an old couch that was sticking sideways out of a pile of garbage. He flew himself upwards and hovered in the air, looking for the main road.  
Suddenly, a loud noise which sounded like something breaking was heard. Tony turned around and saw a rather large wall of rock. He flew to the top of it, where a conveyor belt was moving excess garbage to the bottom of the cliff, which was about one hundred feet down. He flew across the dump, headed the opposite way the conveyor belt was moving garbage.  
Soon enough, he found the main road. He fell back down to the ground, intending on walking via foot to save power, which is when he discovered that his bottle was almost empty and he couldn't walk. He ended up tripping over his own feet and falling into a ditch, where he elected to stay to rest for a while.

Eventually, Tony heard someone walking along the road, which woke him up from his nap. He didn't even remember falling asleep.  
"Glad to see you awake, Sir. You are at twenty percent power," Jarvis announced. "I recommend saving your power for flight to get back home."  
Tony made a mental note, but didn't respond. He felt dehydrated. Naturally, he popped up his faceplate and took a few sips of what he had in his hand - which happened to be his left over alcohol, the absolute perfect thing to drink to get hydrated - and closed his faceplate, again.  
Tony sat up in an instant and watched the person's back as they walked away. He tried to get up, but he had somehow managed to injure his foot and he couldn't stand. "Hey!" he called out. He was still slightly slurring – he had slept long enough for the effects of all that alcohol to go down a lot.  
The man jumped, startled, and turned around looking for who had just called out to him.  
"I-I'm in the ditch. Can 'ya give me a hand?" Tony listened to Jarvis' advice, and kept his power for getting home.  
The man slowly approached the ditch until he saw Tony sitting in his suit.  
The man grinned. "What's the matter, Stark? Can't you even work your own suit to get you up? Fly you somewhere?"  
"Hey, I'm asking 'ya nicely. I'm having some, uh, technical difficulties. Can you give me a hand, or what?" Tony extended his hand for the man to take and help him.  
The man put his hands together, giving Tony a round of applause. "I'm sure you think that just because you are a genius, billionaire, have some special armour and keep the world safe that everyone loves you and anyone that sees you in need of help will help you. You are wrong," the man shook his head. "I disapprove of you, Stark. I must say, I rather enjoy the sight of you holding your hand out in need of help, without anyone else around to help you... and I refuse." The man grinned at the sight one more time before walking away again.  
Having need to know why that man disapproved of Tony, he turned his thrusters on, which only sent him flying backwards, sinking into the ditch. Several feet away, he could hear the man laughing. Tony used the hill of the ditch for balance as he brought himself up standing on one foot, then he flew over to the man, and grabbed onto his shoulders for balance and to ensure he didn't get away.  
"Did sliding into that ditch fix your technical difficulties?"  
"Why?" Tony asked. "Why do you disapprove of me? What exactly have I have to earn such disapproval that you wouldn't help me out of a ditch?"  
"Have you no idea who I am?"  
Tony stared at the man. "Look, I meet a lot of people. I'm not good at remembering faces."  
The man stared at him for a moment, before chuckling. "Same old, Stark. Have you been drinking again, or are you just stupid?"  
"Drinking is completely irrelevant... or relevant. That doesn't matter. What is your problem with me?"  
The man stayed silent.  
"Alright. At least tell me this. Where am I?"  
The man looked to his left, towards the dump. "You must be stupid. We're right outside of a junkyard."  
"Well, I know that. What city are we in?"  
"How much have you had to drink?"  
"Not enough."  
"Let me make this easy on you." The man leaned in towards where Tony's ear would be if he didn't have a helmet on, and whispered, "you will kneel."  
"Hold on a second," Tony slurred, opening his faceplate again, somehow able to understand what was happening. "Why are you wearing Earth clothes?"  
Loki frowned at Tony. "To stay low-key, of course. Hadn't I told you that I can't have Thor coming down to ruin my plans?"  
Tony chuckled. "Loki, in low-key." Realizing he was being too silly, he quickly attempted to reclaimed any of his seriousness that he had left in his system, "when are you going to try to take over Earth, again? If I could know so I can keep my schedule emptied, you know, to kick your ass... that'd be great."  
"You're all alone, and having 'technical difficulties?' I see no harm in telling you, but I won't."  
"I won't be out of power next time we meet, I assure you."  
"Out of power, you say? Thank you for that information. Next time we meet, though, will be your funeral, Stark. My plans are unfolding as we speak."  
Tony froze. Late. He was late. Loki's plans were unfolding. How could he fight? He couldn't. Not without power. Tony shut his faceplate and spoke quietly, "Jarvis?"  
"How are you feeling, sir?"  
"Call Steve."  
"Yes, sir."  
Tony stared at the photo of Steve's face and the words 'calling...' as he impatiently waited for Steve to pick up his phone.  
"What's the matter, Stark? Frozen with fear? Realization that you can't possibly win?" Loki taunted.  
"What is it, Stark?" Steve asked as he answered the phone.  
Tony let go of Loki and kneeled onto the ground, distancing himself slightly from Loki, hopefully putting him out of hearing range. "Loki is here."  
"Have you been drinking or something? Loki is in Asgard, facing justice."  
"He came back. He has this big plan all sorted out and he's going to try to take over the world, again. I am not kidding, Steve. I'm going to need your help, my suit's almost out of power, I can't take him alone."  
"Where are you?"  
"I don't know."  
"How am I supposed to -"  
"Go to my the basement in the tower, I'll have Jarvis unlock all of the doors. In one of my cars, there should be my convertible, there will be a suitcase. It contains a portable suit. Drive that car. I'll have Jarvis trace my location and give you directions. Drive fast. Don't hesitate, don't follow the speed limit, there isn't time. When you get here, bring the suitcase with you and find me. Bring me some alcohol for the aftermath." Though no one would have guessed it because of how well Tony was playing it off, having Loki back on Earth, needing to fight him again (with a currently powerless suit) and everything else that was going on in Tony's life was getting to him and he didn't know how else to deal with it than to turn to alcohol. He wouldn't get as drunk as he did earlier, though; he only intended on drinking enough to make him less stressed out and anxious.  
"There's no time for following the law, but there's time for drinking instead of saving the world?"  
"What are you doing, why are you arguing? There's no time to argue this. Just do it." Tony hung up. "Jarvis?"  
"Yes, sir?"  
"Did you catch that? I'm going to need you to unlock the doors for Steve, trace my location and give him directions and  _don't let him forget a bottle_."  
"Of course, sir."  
"I am not afraid," Tony finally responded to Loki, standing back up and taking his position with his hands on Loki's shoulders. "Sorry about that. Technical difficulties," Tony shrugged, making an excuse for his kneeling down.  
"Foolish mortal." Loki shook his head, then grabbed Tony's hands and took them off of his shoulders. He then headed towards the junkyard.  
Tony tried to follow, but still couldn't walk on his foot, and stumbled over. He managed to catch himself, with one knee and both hands on the ground. "Hey, Loki. C'mere a minute."  
"What now, Stark?"  
"I'm not done with you. I just... Would you mind helping me walk with you?"  
"Now, why would I do that?"  
"Look, I'd follow you if I could. I can't hurt you because I'll lose power. Just, c'mon. Be a good guy for once. Do us both a favour. I can keep talking to you and you can, well, kill me if you want, I have no defense." Tony could not lose Loki, and he really couldn't keep after him by following him when he couldn't walk. He had no choice but to try to get Loki to help him, even if he was suggesting his own death.  
"You mortals are pathetic," Loki sighed. "If you are that eager, I will gladly bring you closer to your death. You can be the first of many to die." He went back and picked Tony up to his feet, and allowed himself to be Tony's balance.  
"Sounds good." Tony opened his faceplate so he could see and talk properly. "So, tell me... how am I going to die?" he asked as he hopped along on one foot with one arm around Loki to keep from falling.  
"I am not going to tell you that."  
"Why not? Come on, we're pals, we're buddies, right? We drank together, we bonded. Don't I at least deserve to know how I'm going to die? I thought those drinks meant something."  
Loki rolled his eyes. "We did not even drink. You are a piece of work."  
"I'm a masterpiece, right?"  
"Not what I had in mind."  
"So, my death. Let's talk about that."  
"You said you were not done with me. Is pestering me about your death all you had in mind?"  
"If that didn't work, I'd ask about the other people who will die."  
Loki looked at Tony.  
"Seriously, how did you get that outfit? Did you murder somebody?"  
"No, I merely robbed him of his clothing."  
"How is that staying low-key?"  
"It was either that or killing him. Tell me, Stark, which is less of a crime?"  
"Well... robbing, for sure. How do you know he won't go to the police?"  
Loki grinned, "I threatened him."  
"With?"  
"Killing him."  
"And he thinks you'll be able to track him down?"  
"I am a God. You moronic mortals think I am capable of absurdly great things."  
"Well, here, God is known as some immortal being living in the sky who can do anything."  
"Sorry to ruin your hopes that you'll die as they do, but your fellow humans will die completely different from how you'll die."  
"So I get special treatment, huh?"  
"You seem to like flattering yourself. You need to stop doing that."  
"Well, if I'm dying differently from everyone else, what do you call that?"  
"Revenge."  
"For what? Me having my arm around you? Come on, you know you don't mind it."  
"You ruined my plans."  
"Still upset about that?"  
"You will not ruin these plans," Loki said, rather sure of himself.  
"What if I do?"  
"You won't."  
"If -"  
"There is no 'if,' Stark. There is no way where you come out on top."  
"You know -"  
"Is pestering me really your only purpose or might you possibly have another purpose?"  
"I see. I must really be bothering you. I'll remember this when you feel like talking."  
Loki dragged Tony along with him as he headed towards a fairly long, dark building. It looked abandoned. The door was only hanging on by one hinge, the walls were falling apart and the roof was caving in. As they arrived at the building, Loki kicked the already broken door in. "Welcome home."  
"I'm sorry?"  
"This is the last place you will ever be. This is where you will die and spend eternity."  
"You're killing me, already?"  
"No. First I will make you watch my plans unfold. Then I will make you helplessly watch hundreds of your fellow humans die, then you will die by my own hands, slowly, painfully."  
"So, you're keeping me alive for a while, then?"  
"You are my prisoner, now. Thank you for the glorious idea."  
"Yeah... anytime. So, you get the pleasure of killing me, huh? Do you really think these people are going to respond well to accepting you as their ruler after killing me?"  
Loki stopped walking and stared at Tony, realizing that he may be right. Killing the man who has kept so many safe, may not the most brilliant idea before attempting to be ruler. "Maybe you are a genius, Stark. We're well on our way to becoming ally's." Loki freed himself of Tony's grasp, slightly shoving him away, in the process.  
Tony stumbled backwards onto his injured foot and fell backwards against a wall, which fell on top of him from the impact. "I can see we'll get along greatly," Tony mumbled as he laid beneath the crumbled wall.  
"Now..." Loki said, entering the large, main room of the building, which had lost its roof. "You're in for a show."  
Tony sat himself upright so he could observe what Loki was doing.  
Loki used his magic to create a portal. Moments later, a gigantic frost-like blue being passed through.  
As Tony saw the giant creature, he understood what Loki was doing. Choosing a junkyard where there were no people, an old building with no roof, staying low-key? He was probably using an immense amount of power, and those creatures were giants, and obviously dangerous. There was no doubt that Thor would come down before too much time passed. By then it would be too late. Loki would have brought in too many of these giants, it would be near impossible to stop him.  
"Do you have it?" Loki asked the frost giant.  
The frost giant nodded, and held out a blue object to Loki. Loki rejected the blue object stepping away the giant, "I cannot hold it. Set it down until the Enchantress is available."  
"Oh... shit..." Tony muttered, trying to slowly and quietly get out from underneath the collapsed wall. He snapped his faceplate back closed, "Jarvis?"  
"Yes, sir?"  
"Where's the Captain?"  
"He is on his way."  
"E.T.A?"  
"Seven minutes."  
"That won't do. What are the chances of being able to stop Loki and these - blue giants?"  
"Not good, sir. Power is at sixteen percent."  
"Son of a -"  
"Where do you think you're going?" Loki asked as he noticed Tony trying to escape.  
"Well, your friend looks a bit cold so I thought I'd get him a nice cup of hot coffee."  
"You are not going anywhere.  _Freeze him_ ," Loki ordered the frost giant.  
The next thing Tony knew, his legs had been frozen together. He was about to yell at Loki for ordering that, but the ice was making Tony's foot feel a lot better. He sighed. "Thank you!"  
Loki cocked his head to the side and stared at Tony for a second, wondering why he would be thankful, but he shook his head and turned his attention back to the portal as another frost giant entered. "Go," Loki told the newly arrived frost giant, "get to Stark Towers. Destroy it. If you see the Enchantress, stay away from her. Stay as far away from her as possible. I would rather see you laying in a pool of your own water than be near her. Whatever she is doing cannot be interrupted as of yet. Do you understand?"  
The frost giant nodded, and began heading out to find Stark Towers. Tony tried moving, but couldn't. "Jarvis? Can I escape this?"  
"I highly doubt it, sir. I wouldn't even attempt it. If you lose power, you are as good as dead. Keep your suit on as long as you can."  
Tony groaned, but turned his attention back to Loki. "So, you've got your little friends, you have that box thing, and the Enchantress. What more do you need?"  
"Lots!"  
"Who is this Enchantress anyway?"  
"Do not ask me that."  
"Who do I ask then? The Enchantress? Is she enchanting? Want her all to yourself, huh?"  
Loki looked over his shoulder at Tony. "No. You do not need the knowledge of who she is."  
"Well, you don't need the knowledge of my wrath. Stop what you're doing."  
"Or what? You're frozen and out of power. You are no threat to me."  
Suddenly, another wall collapsing could be heard. And another. And another. Along with the rest of the ceiling and all other standing structures. "Incoming, sir," Jarvis warned, moments before Tony's car came crashing into the room that Tony and Loki were in.  
The door opened, and Steve stepped out. "I hope you don't mind, Loki, but I brought you a present." He tossed what looked to be the arm of the frost giant at Loki's feet.  
Loki turned and angrily faced Tony, who simply shrugged, and put his faceplate back up. "Cap. What took so long?"  
"Had to find your alcohol." Steve shook his head and tossed Tony the bottle, who easily caught it.  
"Finally.. A good use," Tony muttered quietly enough for Steve not to hear.  
Steve grabbed his shield from Tony's car and stood defensively in front of Loki. "Tony, your case is in the back seat."  
"Little tied up, Cap'," Tony rolled his eyes and opened his bottle, taking a mouthful.  
Noticing that Tony had been partially frozen, Steve couldn't help but take this as an opportunity. "How's it feel to be an Ironsicle?"  
"How long have you been waiting to get back for that?"  
"Well, isn't this just sweet? Shall I leave you two alone to take shots at each other instead of I?" Loki suggested as he began retreating.  
"You're not going anywhere, Loki."  
"A soldier out of time, once again, ruining my plans. This man of iron - happy with his bottle, taking shots, and what have I? Yes, my shattered ally, thank you. I think it's time the tables turn. I get the glory now. Freeze him," Loki demanded of the frost giant, whom obeyed, shooting a bunch of ice towards Steve.  
Steve quickly put his shield up, unintentionally reflecting the blast of ice towards Tony. Loki and Steve immediately turned their attention to Tony, whom had been frozen with his bottle upon his lips. Loki and Steve then looked at each other, shrugging off Tony's frozen position, as it was nothing new. Steve immediately used his shield to knock the head off of the frost giant. Loki growled in response, and used his magic to summon his scepter, which he immediately began trying to blast or hit Steve with.  
When Steve had a chance, he threw his shield at Tony, breaking the ice around his legs as well as shattering the end of the bottle. Tony snapped his faceplate shut, breaking apart the rest of the ice and bottle from his face. He used his thrusters to fly through the windshield of his car, and out the back window, without grabbing his case. The alcohol was getting to him. He slowly flew back in through the back window, but hit his head off of the back of the front seat, and managed to do a flip of sorts, landing with his feet through the windshield with his head resting on the front seat, and the top of the car broken off.  
"Sir, your suit is at seven percent power," Jarvis informed Tony. "If possible, I highly recommend saving your power, and walking when you can."  
Tony tried to reply, but with his groaning and slurring together, he wasn't overly understandable.  
"Stark! Get up and grab your suit!" Steve yelled from the corner where he was retrieving his shield.  
Loki was right on his tail, and grabbed Steve by his throat the second he turned around. "Soldier, tell me. What is it like? You are without doubt the most honourable on the team, yet you make a bigger mistake than any other would. Coming here alone, giving your only teammate enough alcohol to turn him useless... Grave mistake, soldier. You've brought the both of you to your deaths."  
"We will die, but not here, not by your hands, and not today.  _Stark_!" Steve looked over to Tony for help, but Tony had passed out.  
Loki laughed, and shot a blast from his scepter towards Tony's car, sending it and Tony flying.  
Steve took Loki's being distracted with Tony to be an opportunity, and punched him in the face with everything he had. Loki immediately fell onto the ground from the impact, giving Steve time to run after Tony, whom had been thrown onto an active conveyor belt. "I should be letting you die for this," Steve muttered to himself as he ran beside the conveyor belt, chasing after Tony.  
"Sir, the suit is dying. I insist that you wake up. Finding safety is highly recommended," Jarvis announced, just before opened the suit, releasing Tony. Fortunately, Jarvis was able to wake Tony up, however Tony was in no physical condition to get up and run off to safety, nor did he feel like moving. To make matters worse for Tony, his rescue was put on hold as Loki had another frost giant enter through the portal, freezing Steve. Continuing out his master plan, he used his magic to save Tony,  _just_  in time, as his suit fell off the edge.  
"Woah, woah, woah," Tony flailed as he came to his senses, unappreciative of being transported via magic. "What is happening here?"  
"I am saving your life, is all. There is no need -"  
A loud booming was suddenly heard throughout the sky as lightning appearing above them, interrupting and completely ruining all of Loki's plans. " _Amoura_ ," Loki growled in the most bitterful, hateful, evil tone Tony had ever heard. The countdown begun. Loki had no more than a minute. Hurrying, he tried to use his scepter on Tony again. "Now then, Stark. Show enough heart to give I, your lover, a hand. Unfreeze him and get rid of him," Loki immediately demanded of Tony, pointing to the frozen soldier.  
Lover? What was Loki thinking? His magic didn't work on Tony, they figured that out during Loki's last visit. Loki's narrowing eyes and impatient look sent Tony into a bit of a panic, causing him to play along. "How?"  
Loki picked up Steve's shield and tossed it to Tony, "lie - lie like your life depends on it, because it does. He is a soldier, give him reason to believe he is doing right. You have less than a minute before I before I kill you."  
Tony immediately regretted his decision to play along, but he had no choice now. "Can he hear when he's frozen?"  
Loki shook his head.  
Tony nodded in response as he grabbed Steve's shield. He throw it at Steve, shattering the ice around him. "Loki surrendered," Tony lied. "He says he will only go into custody if," he took a quick second to think of a reason, "he's not outnumbered - in other words he doesn't want you being the one to bring him in. It's nothing personal, he just hates you."  
"How do we know he's not trying to get you alone so it's easier for him to win?"  
"I just do. Trust me on this, Steve."  
"Why would he surrender? He's the -"  
"Yeah, I know what he is, and I don't know exactly why he's surrendering but he did and we have to give it a shot don't we? So maybe I die, and maybe I die an idiot, or maybe we finally catch this guy. I don't want to throw this away, and the offer is timed. Please, just trust me on this."  
Steve looked over Tony's shoulder at Loki, and sighed. "Alright, Stark. If you think you know what you're doing. May it be on your hands. I want no part of it."  
Tony only replied by giving Steve a confident look as he walked off.  
"That took too long," Loki growled when Steve was leaving. "Thor is coming. Make sure he believes that I am here for good, doing good - after all, now that you are under my spell, I might just be. Thor will not believe my word, but he will not deny the word of a fellow teammate and friend."  
"Yeah, no problem, anything for you, dear."  
"He's here," Loki warned, sighing.  
No more than a second later, Thor and his hammer slammed into the Earth in front of Tony and Loki. "Loki!" Thor nearly yelled, quite obviously pissed off.  
"Brother," Loki greeted bitterfully, before looking at Tony, waiting for him to play out his role...


	4. New Roommate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony continues his game and lets Loki move in with him in the Avenger's Tower, however Loki has a few errands to do before he's able to settle in...

Thor and his hammer slammed into the Earth in front of Tony and Loki. "Loki!" Thor nearly yelled, quite obviously pissed off.  
"Brother," Loki greeted bitterfully, before looking at Tony, waiting for him to play out his role.  
Taking a quick deep breath, Tony stepped up, facing Thor. "What are you doing here, Point Break?"  
"I have come to take Loki back."  
Tony shook his head, "I can't let you do that."  
Thor stared at Tony, not quite sure how to respond to Tony's objection.  
"What has he done wrong?"  
"He has escaped -"  
"I'm sorry, would you rather have your own brother sitting in a terrible place like that, forever?" Though Tony really didn't know much about the place Loki had been banished to, Loki was  _banished_  there. Obviously it had to be a terrible place, but just to make sure he knew exactly what it was and Loki wasn't exaggerating, he asked "what  _exactly_  is it?"  
"The Isle of Silence; 'tis an inescapable island - home to Rock Trolls - where sound does not exist. On the Island is a Volcano that gives of gas that weakens an Asgardian before exploding. Loki had been sent there with hopes of him -"  
"Is that going to happen? I may not know about trolls or weakened magic or exploding volcanoes, but that sounds like hell. Do you honestly believe that sending Loki there will turn him into a sweet little bunny, if he even lives? You're going to fill him with more resentment." Tony may have started the conversation planning to lie to Thor, but after hearing that this Isle of Silence was some form of torture, he honestly wasn't supportive of the situation.  
Thor gave Tony a confused look as he had no idea what a bunny was, but dismissed the definition as unimportant. "Loki needs the punishment he deserves. All must pay for their actions. I do not wish to see it happen to him, but it need be done."  
"Do you love your brother?"  
Thor scowled at Tony. "Man of Iron, you are a friend and teammate. I do not wish to fight you, but I will if -"  
"Answer the question, Shakespeare."  
"Of course I love him. He -"  
"Then let him stay here," Tony argued, before Thor had a chance to say anything more. "He won't do anything wrong; not this time. I'll keep my eye on him and make sure he stays out of trouble."  
"Does Odin know of my escape?" Loki suddenly asked Thor; the curiosity getting to him.  
Thor shook his head. "No. If father were to have this knowledge, I fear your punishment would be much worse."  
"Who all knows? Surely you did not find all of this out on your own."  
"Heimdall and myself. I went to visit you and you were not there. Your location was brought to me by Heimdall."  
"You don't want to send him back, do you?" Tony jumped back in. "Your own brother? You were there - my imagination is limited but I'm sure it's much worse than what I'm thinking, right? The choice is yours now; whether or not you send him back to that place.  _You_  can save Loki from all of that suffering and let me take care of him for a while. I'll keep him under control, I promise. Like you said, I'm your friend and teammate. Trust me."  
"Why would you do this for Loki?"  
"I... erm." Tony took a second before replying to Thor's question. He had to convince not one, but  _two_  God's of an outrageously obvious lie. Tony had a hard enough time with his real feelings for Pepper, faking the same feelings for someone Tony hated was not going to be easy, and he wasn't ready to take up that kind of challenge. Tony could only hope that Loki wouldn't get mad at him for not saying that he was in love with him. "I just have a heart. I don't like torture and being weakened while on the same place as trolls - who I'm guessing don't like visitors since they have an exploding volcano - counts are torture in my book. Look at him, he's terrified."  
Not expecting Tony's answer, Loki had a rather confused look upon his face, but he quickly turned his expression to terror, playing along. "Do not make me go back there, brother," Loki requested of Thor through a trembling voice, attempting to help get Thor to buy Tony's reasoning.  
"Loki? Afraid? What is this trickery? What have you done to the Man of Iron?"  
"He hasn't done anything to me, Thor. People can change. Look at me, I'm an example of that. What about you? I read your files. Were you not once a careless war-seeking animal? Now it's Loki's turn. We got a second chance, a chance to change, he deserves that chance, too."  
Thor slowly nodded, "you have moved my soul with your wise words, mortal. Loki, I will give you a chance. I will return home and keep your escape only between Heimdall and myself, but I will visit you again soon. If the Man of -"  
"Tony," Tony corrected.  
"- Iron," Thor continued, ignoring Tony, "is correct and you can become well, I will fight for a trial for your freedom."  
"I am in no need of trial. I already have my freedom."  
"But you cannot come ho-"  
"Asgard is  _not_  my home!" Loki yelled.  
"I must take my leave from Midgard now," Thor retreated from the conversation, unwilling to argue. "Loki, for the sake of all Midgardians and your own future, do not cast your magic unless life depends on it. We will need reason for father to believe that you can be civilized." Thor stepped closer towards Loki to say goodbye; but as he got closer, he noticed there were scars on Loki's face. "Your face," Thor put his hand on Loki's shoulder, giving him a truly apologetic look. "I am sorry, brother."  
Tony stared at Loki's face curiously, noticing the scars, as well.  
Loki stepped back, causing Thor's arm to fall off of him.  
"Why has it not healed yet? Are you alri-"  
"I got busy," Loki muttered. He quickly turned around and walked a few steps away to continue healing his face, quickly getting rid of the scars that had been left.  
"Tony Stark; Man of Iron," Thor turned to Tony. "I am not done conversing with you. When I return we are to continue speaking. In the meantime, you take care of my brother, do you understand?"  
"Okay. Yeah, I will," Tony nodded.  _Great_ , Tony thought,  _how do I kick his ass and save Earth if I'm supposed to actually take care of him? Why did I have to go through with this?  
_ Thor nodded before taking off into the sky, putting complete faith that Tony's decision would not destroy Loki, Tony, everyone else or even the planet itself, and then took off, flying back to Asgard. Tony only wished that he wouldn't have so much faith in him.  
When all sights of Thor were gone, Loki turned back to Tony. "Take me back to your tower."  
Tony opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it, as he was supposed to be in love with and obey Loki, and he couldn't afford to blow his cover yet. "The tower isn't technically mine, anymore."  
"What do you mean?"  
"It's the Avengers Tower, now. The Avengers all come and go as they please. As much as I'd love to have you have you there, I don't think they'll take well to that."  
"Have you not your own private lair?"  
"I've got my own floor. A few, actually," Tony grinned proudly.  
"Then what is the problem? I will stay hidden in your private area and none shall know of my presence."  
Tony tried to think of an argument, but having to play along as if he were under Loki's spell, he had nothing valid to use. "Alright," Tony nodded. "Okay. Sure. Let's go, we've got a long walk ahead of us."  
"Stark?" Loki called as Tony began walking towards the exit.  
"Yes, dear?"Tony responded by reflex.  
"Are you forgetting something?"  
Tony froze, trying to think of what he might be forgetting. Every possibility he could think of ran through his mind, but none of them seemed important enough for Loki to be questioning. "Would you like an escort?" Tony asked, holding his arm out.  
"You have yet to retrieve either of your suits of armour. Might that not be an efficient way of traveling?"  
Tony looked around, looking for his armour. As he recalled, the suit he was wearing fell off the conveyor belt, and the other one... where did that get to? Observing everything that he could view from his standpoint, Tony managed to find his car quite a ways away, upside down and smashed up. "You know, you really didn't have to do that," Tony told Loki.  
"I do what I want," Loki muttered, watching as Tony headed towards his useless car, and dug out his Iron Man suit.  
Once Tony found his suit and put it on, he was greeted by Jarvis. "Hello, Sir. Good to have you back."  
"Jarvis, I need you to hide all of my files. Every single one. I also need every security camera turned on and recording, twenty-four seven. I need to be the only one with access to any and all records with Loki in them. Lock those files. Password seven, three, seven, seven, three, seven - I'll change it to something better later."  
"Yes, sir. Expecting an intrusion?"  
"A guest, actually. Listen, when I get back I'm going to tell you to do something - I need you to do it, but don't change anything I just told you to do."  
"Very well, sir."  
Tony popped open his faceplate and stared at Loki, "need a lift?"  
"That is a good idea, why did I not think of that?"  
"Humans are more intelligent," Tony shrugged. "Hey, I've got a quick errand to run, I'll be  _right_  back. Meet me out at the road where we first met here, alright?" Before Loki could deny Tony's request, Tony snapped his faceplate closed and turned his thrusters on, flying out to find Steve.  
Having left not too long ago, Tony assumed Steve wouldn't get too far, but he was about half way to the tower. Tony dropped himself down right behind Steve, picked him up and took off, again.  
"Stark? What are you doing? Put me down," Steve argued. "You know I don't like flying like this."  
"Loki destroyed my car. This has to be my way of giving you a 'thank you' ride home."  
"I appreciate the gesture, but I'd rather walk."  
"Too bad, we're here." Tony landed just outside of the front doors and set Steve back down.  
"What happened to Loki, anyways? How'd it go?"  
"Thor came down - didn't you hear the thunder? He took Loki back to Asgard."  
"So it's done, then? Again?"  
Tony nodded, "Thor's coming back sometime soon to keep us updated."  
"Can you create some communication device so he doesn't have to travel all the time? We have no way to get in contact with him until he comes here."  
Tony cocked his head the side, considering everything he'd need to have in order to make something work between Earth and Asgard. It would take a lot of power... It had to be possible - but how? "I don't know. I'll go look into that," Tony took off again, heading out to the dump to get Loki.  
Strangely, Loki wasn't standing where Tony had requested. Tony flew back over the dump and found Loki right where Tony had left him. Tony landed, and Loki immediately growled, "don't you ever do that again."  
"Do what? I just -"  
"You do not tell me what to do, Stark. I take orders from no one. You do not abandon me. I am your first priority, now."  
"I was making sure it was safe for you," Tony defensively objected. "I got Steve inside and told him you were taken back to Asgard by Thor, and made sure he or anyone else won't disturb us."  
Loki stared at Tony, making sure he wasn't lying. "Good. Take me there."  
Tony scooped Loki up in his arms and took off again.  
"What a pitiful city," Loki muttered as he looked downwards.  
"It's really not that bad."  
"Shut up, Stark," Loki snarled.  
"Was that called for?" Tony muttered.  
"You should do as I command," Loki warned.  
"Why is that?" Tony replied, slightly mimicking Loki's tone.  
"You are in love with me, are you not? You must do as I ask out of love."  
Tony looked down at Loki, not sure whether or not to believe he was actually supposed to behave exactly as Loki was saying he should. To actually stop talking when told to shut up? No one really did that.  
Not bothering with trying to argue, Tony remained silent, and set Loki down on his landing when they got back to the tower.  
"Jarvis?" Tony asked as he walked down the catwalk, having his suit removed.  
"Welcome back. How may I be of assistance?"  
Loki immediately froze, and stood defensively with his scepter, trying to figure out where the voice came from.  
"Yeah, thanks. So, uh..." he trailed off, looking over at Loki, who looked like he was going to shoot the roof. "What... are you doing?"  
" _Where is that voice coming from_?!" Loki hissed.  
"That's..." Tony rubbed his temples. He was going to have to explain a  _lot_  of things to Loki. "That's J.A.R.V.I.S. It's my artificially intelligent computer."  
Loki stared at Tony, saying nothing.  
"It's a talking computer."  
Loki slowly straightened his posture and lowered his weapon, accepting Tony's explanation to mean that the computer was no threat.  
"This is Loki," Tony continued talking to Jarvis, "He's our guest."  
"Welcome to the Avengers Tower, Mr. Loki," Jarvis welcomed.  
"I don't know how long he's staying for, but he's welcome here forever, so, uh... treat him like a Stark, alright?" Tony requested.  
"Well that was very kind of you," Loki grinned approvingly.  
"Anything for you, dear. You can make yourself at home, Jarvis can give you a tour... I'm going to go down and, uh, yeah..." Tony trailed off, leaving the room.  
Loki stared at the doorway, wondering what was wrong with his new roommate.  
"Mr. Loki, if you make your way out the door and turn left into the hallway, the room is on your left is the restroom," Jarvis informed, beginning the tour. Loki cautiously followed Jarvis' directions until he was brought to the bar/living room - the room where Tony was. He was sitting on the couch, hunched over his glass, which he was spinning his finger around the rim of.  
"Am I not welcomed in your presence?" Loki questioned.  
"What?" Tony looked up, unaware he wasn't alone. "Oh, no. Of course you are."  
"Why have you run off?"  
"I just... you know, thinking." The Avengers' number one enemy was back, secretly  _living_  with Tony, while he had to pretend to be in love with him. Tony had a plan - mind it wasn't very well thought out, but he was still working on it. Having Loki think that Tony was in love was in Tony's advantage; if he could get Loki to talk to him, he could easily find out what Loki was planning, and ruin it before it happened. First Tony had to find a way to contain himself long enough to be able to convince Loki he was in love - let alone not freak out over Loki's presence.  
"That's odd."  
"What's odd?"  
"You, thinking."  
"Thanks -" Tony cut himself off before he could insult Loki.  
"You are most welcome." Loki paused for a moment before making a small announcement, "I am leaving."  
"What? Why? Where? For how long?"  
"Not for long. I need... to go out."  
"Like  _that_?" Tony nodded towards Loki's outfit.  
Loki looked down at what he was wearing. "What?" he asked, rather insulted.  
"You want to go out in public wearing the same armour that you wore while destroying the city a few months ago? People will recognize you."  
"Would you prefer I go out without anything?"  
"Where do you want to go? I'll go for you."  
"That is none of your concern. It is  _my_  business.  _I_  must do it."  
Tony shook his head and stood up from the couch, handing Loki his drink. "Wait here, I'll go buy you some human clothes, then."  
Loki rolled his eyes, "are you forgetting? I can use my mag-"  
"Thor said not to. I don't know what your plan here is, but you just can't use magic - you need to give that up. Just, for once, listen to what Thor said and don't fuck everything up for a few days. We'll sort everything out when he gets back."  
Loki raised a brow at Tony, insulted that he suggested listening to Thor, of all beings.  
"What do you want?" Tony asked, in reference to his buying Loki some human clothes.  
"Anything will do," Loki submitted, not bothering to argue, "something casual."  
Tony nodded and waved his hand in the air before leaving, heading down to get a car. As he passed a window, he saw that it had started to rain, so he grabbed the keys to his Audi R8. He got inside, started up the beautiful engine, and drove off to get Loki some normal clothes.  
 _Going to get Loki some normal clothes._ Tony sighed, "what am I doing?"  
"Driving after drinking, sir," Jarvis' voice suddenly appeared through the car stereo.  
"Right, remind me to care."  
"Duly noted, sir."  
"Jarvis, where do I go to buy casual, normal clothes? I've never done this before."  
"Your closest clothing options consist of a shopping center 8.9 miles west of here, a super-hero merchandise store on your next right, you just passed a- "  
"Super-hero merchandise store?"  
"Yes, sir. It appears to be run by a man named Mark. He sells a wide variety of things, including a large selection of super-hero themed tee-shirts."  
"Huh... Loki did say he was trying to stay low-key..." Tony grinned and took a right turn, continuing to take directions from Jarvis to get to the store. When he got there, he went in and bought six Iron Man themed shirts (all of which were a size medium, which might be a bit loose on Loki, but it would be good length-wise) then headed off to buy Loki some pants.  
Completely unaware of what size Loki might be, he ended up buying almost ten different sizes.  
Tony took in a deep breath when he got back in his car, then heavily blew it all out. "Jarvis, do not  _ever_  let me go shopping again."  
"Noted, sir."  
Tony turned the radio on to give himself some privacy, and sped off down the highway, heading back to the Avengers Tower.  
"In love," Tony muttered to himself, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. "What am I  _supposed_ to do? What does he expect? Am I supposed to be just like any other brainwashed slave, but more dedicated? Does he even know what love is?" Tony groaned, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. He had no idea how Asgardian magic worked or what the circumstances were, and that made it really difficult to pretend to be under a spell. Could he bang his head off of a wall hard enough to knock himself out and 'end' the spell like it did for Clint? Would it ever wear off? Tony sighed and began cursing magic.  
As he drove down to his personal garage, he groaned, deciding that he really had to just jump right in to this new life style and be Loki's personal bitch, doing what he was told without argument, while acting as though he was in love. He had no other choice. He couldn't risk getting caught. He needed to stop Loki from doing whatever it was he wanted to do.  
Tony parked the car, grabbed the bags and headed back upstairs to where Loki was. When he walked in, Tony found that Loki was laying on the couch wearing nothing but his undergarments while drinking Tony's alcohol and eating cherries. On the coffee table in front of the couch sat his armour, folded up neatly. "There you are," Loki stood up. "I was about to get dressed and leave."  
Tony's eyes widened and he immediately turned around, looking away from Loki. "Why did you get  _un_ dressed?"  
"Why not? I have to do it anyway."  
"You could have waited," Tony muttered.  
"What did you get?" Loki questioned, ignoring Tony.  
Tony held the bags up, "it's in here."  
"Well, come show me."  
Tony quickly took in a deep breath and turned around to show Loki what he had bought. He turned around just in time to see Loki tilting his head back, putting another cherry in his mouth, biting off the stem. Loki then grinned at Tony, "come on, love."  
Fear, anxiety, slight arousal, confusion, disgust, confliction, discomfort, irritation, disturbance.. these were all things Tony felt as he slowly walked towards Loki.  
Loki calling him 'love' had reminded him that he had to play a game, and if he were really in love it wouldn't bother him to see Loki with his current appearance. Having no other option, Tony managed to pull himself together and focus on the positive feelings; forcing himself to smile at Loki as he handed him the bags that contained the jeans. "I didn't know what size you are, so I got you a bunch of different ones. Whatever doesn't fit, we can take back, exchange, donate, whatever you want."  
Loki set his bag of cherries down on the coffee table and took a pair of jeans out of the bag, immediately putting them on. With a snap of his fingers, he adjusted them to fit him perfectly. "Size does not matter when you possess magic," Loki grinned.  
"Don't use your magic!" Tony warned in a hushed voice as if someone would hear him. "You know what Thor said about -"  
"Enough with what  _Thor_  said," Loki spat out his brother's name with disgust. "I do what I want. I do not need his 'help' - I do need Asgard."  
"What happens if your dad finds out you escaped?"  
Loki's grin disappeared and his face dropped, realizing Tony may be right about one thing. What would happen? Surely Odin wouldn't personally leave Asgard... but there were no limits on what he would send. "He is  _not my_  father," Loki muttered. More calmly, he asked "what else have you got?" as he stared at the remaining bag in Tony's hand.  
Tony took a shirt out of the bag and handed it to Loki, curious of his reaction to the shirts.  
Loki took it and looked at it. He laughed, but shot Tony a look that showed he was not amused. He threw it aside and grabbed another shirt from the bag. After examining it, he threw it aside, too. He grabbed the bag from Tony and pulled out all of the shirts, to see that each one had Iron Man on it. "Is that  _all_  you got? Your armour?"  
Tony nodded, "low key and casual, that's what you've been saying, right? Everyone wears these, it's totally casual. Besides, what's more low key than supporting your mortal enemy?" Tony grinned. "Besides, I love you," Tony winked, "I thought you might appreciate it."  
Loki raised an eyebrow at Tony, almost amused, and put on one of the shirts. "I'll take my leave now. It is not important what I wear at the moment, but I  _do_  expect you to later take me to get more suitable apparel."  
"Yes, dear. I, uh, you should probably go down to my garage and out the back door so no one sees you - I can take you if you want."  
Loki shook his head and grabbed his boots on his way to the elevator. He selected the button for Tony's garage and put his boots on, then left the way Tony suggested.  
He was about to use his magic to either go to or summon the Enchantress to him, but decided against it, as not even Loki could imagine the wrathful punishment Odin would have if he found word of Loki's escape and was able to locate him. Odin was King, which outranked Thor, so if it came down to it, Heimdall would have to inform Odin of everything known, and Thor wouldn't be able to help. With a sigh, Loki headed into a dark alleyway which wasn't far from the Avengers Tower.  
"Amoura..." Loki taunted into the darkness. "Come out and play."  
With a flash of green smoke and fire, the Enchantress appeared before Loki. "Hello, my love."  
Loki immediately lunged towards the Enchantress, gripping her throat in his hand as he shoved her against the brick wall. "You have failed me, Amoura."  
"Loki, please -" the Enchantress choked out.  
Loki chuckled lightly, "I will not ask why you have betrayed me. Though you have failed me and ruined everything, I am not mad at you, Amoura," Loki freed the Enchantress.  
"You're... not?" a wave of relief washed over the Enchantress' face as she sighed in relief.  
"Oh no," Loki shook his head. "I am  _furious_!" he yelled, summoning his scepter and destroying the Enchantress all in the same second - having no choice but to use the small amount of magic. It was necessary.  _No one_  crossed Loki and got away with it.  
Loki stared at the wall where the Enchantress was seconds ago, suddenly questioning whether he had disintegrated her, or if she fled at the very last second. Whichever it be, she knew Loki was furious and she was gone. She wouldn't be returning any time soon - and that was all that mattered at the moment.  
In the most casual manner possible, Loki walked back across the street holding his scepter and headed into the back entry way to Tony's garage, heading back up to Tony's floor.  
When Loki walked in, his presence startled Tony, causing the drink in his hand to spill a bit. He mentally cursed, but quickly withdrew his concerns for the condition of his clothes. "You're back," Tony grinned, continuing the game. "That was quick."  
"Yes," Loki nodded, frowning. "Where can I put my armour and scepter?"  
"Errm..." Tony thought for a moment, "here," he walked out of the main room and wondered down the hallway to the hall closet and opened it up. "I never had a use for this. I guess you can have it."  
Loki nodded approvingly and hung his armour on a hanger and set his helmet and staff on the top shelf.  
"I can get you a lock for it, or something - if you want."  
Loki shook his head, "no need." With a wave of his hand, he magically sealed the door.  
"That works, too." Tony looked up at Loki. Staring into his eyes, he realized that they were different. Cloudy. "Are you alright?"  
Loki turned to Tony and stared at him, "I need your help."  
"O...kay," Tony accepted, rather confused as to why Loki would need his help. "With what?"  
"Grab some apparel that can hide your identity."  
"You want me to wear a disguise?"  
Loki nodded.  
"Alright." Tony wondered off to his room and dug through his belongings to find an old coat and a ball cap. He put it on and returned to Loki, "how's this?"  
It hardly hid who he was, but it was "Fine. Now come." Loki turned and headed back for the elevator.  
Tony quietly followed Loki as he led the way out of the building. "Where are we going?"  
"Out."  
"Very far?"  
"A fair ways, I suppose, yes."  
"Why not use one of my cars?"  
"I dislike your transportation devices."  
"Why?"  
"Oh, shut up for once, Stark."  
Tony grumbled, but didn't say anything more as he quietly kept pace with Loki as he was led down the street.  
It wasn't until about ten minutes had passed that Tony spoke again, "can I ask you a few things?"  
"Why?" Loki groaned, growing beyond irritated with Tony's constant talking and never-ending questions.  
"I have some things I need to ask you and now seems like a pretty good time."  
"What now?"  
"What happened to you?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"In Asgard, what happened to you?"  
"I got sent to the Isle of Silence, what do you think?"  
"Thor apologized for your face and asked why it wasn't healed. I saw the scars. What happened?"  
"Why are you questioning this?"  
"You know why."  
Loki let out a low growl. "I was silenced."  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
"What do you think it means? I had my lips sewn shut, you imbecile."  
Tony stopped walking. He stared at Loki with a painfully blank expression.  _He had his lips sewn shut_.  
Noticing there were no longer footsteps behind him, Loki turned around. "What now?"  
"They tortured you?" Tony whispered.  
"Did you expect any less? From the King of Asgard, Thor's father; _my kidnapper_?" Loki laughed, "that old man despises me. He would gladly take any opportunity to make my life as miserable as he can."  
Tony stared off into the distance, in complete disbelief. "So he sewed your lips shut?"  
"Don't be stupid, he wouldn't do that," Loki shook his head. "He forced the task upon Thor."  
Tony looked at him in horror. "Thor had to-?!"  
Loki shrugged, "he thought it would be more painful to have my 'brother' do it."  
Tony stepped towards Loki, standing just a few inches from him, and stared at his mouth.  
"What are you doing?" Loki asked, leaning back.  
Tony grabbed Loki's head and held it still. "So you can just heal yourself? Just like that? There are  _no_  scars."  
"Yes?"  
"But not in that Isle of Silence?"  
"No, obviously not."  
"So you were going to be stuck there  _forever_  with your lips  _sewn_  shut... even though sound doesn't exist there?"  
"Yes..."  
"And Thor was going to send you back there?!"  
Loki looked at Tony as though he was the dumbest being he had ever come across - which was very possible at the moment. "Are you really having trouble following this? I knew you were a moron, but this is just absurd."  
"Thor said you were adopted. You just said you were kidnaped. What happened, there?"  
"I was kidnaped - and lied to, for my entire life."  
"Loki,  _what happened_? Tell me your story - help me understand what happened to you. I want to help you." and he did. No matter what Loki did, he didn't deserve the torture that he had received. He had let Thor take Loki back to Asgard to face Asgardian justice, not Asgardian torture. Besides, Loki didn't seem entirely crazy - he deserved a chance to explain himself, and Tony did like helping people.  
"Forget about it, Stark. You do not need to know."  
"Who do you have?"  
"Now what are you going on about?"  
"Friends, family, fellow villains? Who have you got? Who can you trust?"  
Loki frowned, keeping the question unanswered.  
"I take it that means no one? Look, you're not the only one with daddy issues. I can understand that whole topic. I can help you. Just talk to me."  
"You cannot understand. You cannot 'help.' me. We are done with this conversation."  
"Why not? You know, my dad was cold. He never had time for me. He didn't tell me that he loved me - or even  _liked_  me. There's a lot of history there. If there's a chance that anyone could understand, you can be damn sure that it would be me."  
"What is worse," Loki asked, "having a real father that you don't  _think_  likes you, or having a false father that truly does not like you, and uses you, like a piece in an incomplete puzzle?"  
"How was he using you?" Tony pushed, ignoring everything else Loki said.  
"That is none of your concern, Stark."  
"Loki, please, at least let me understand why you're so full of hate towar-"  
Loki grabbed Tony by the throat, cutting him off. "If you keep talking I will rip your vocal chords out and sew  _your_  lips shut. We are not having this conversation now or here, much less at all."  
Tony pressed his lips together, keeping silent.  
Loki freed Tony from his grasp and continued walking. "Come,  _silently_."  
After quite a while, when Loki turned onto a specific street, Tony spoke up again, "can I speak?"  
"No," Loki snapped.  
Despite being behind Loki, Tony nodded in response, staring at the ground.  
Loki groaned in defeat, "what?"  
Tony looked up at Loki, rather surprised that he was allowed to talk. "Are we going back to that junkyard?"  
"Yes - do not dare ask why."  
Tony rolled his eyes. Loki's tolerance level was worse than Pepper's - or anyone else's.  
After several more minutes, they finally arrived back at the junkyard and Loki led Tony to the broken and abandoned building they were at earlier.  
"That," Loki pointed to the blue box that the frost giant had brought. "Pick it up."  
Tony looked at Loki, confused. "Are you not allowed to touch it or something?"  
"No, I am not, now do as I say."  
With an eye roll, Tony did as Loki demanded and picked up the blue box. "What is this?"  
"None of your - "  
"Would you just tell me? What am I going to do? Tell Steve? Any of the Avengers that aren't even in the city right now? I'm not going to do that."  
Loki stared at Tony, deciding on whether or not to believe that the information would remain classified. "It is a casket."  
"And you can't touch it, why?"  
"We're leaving now," Loki retreated from the setting.  
Tony sighed, but silently followed, carrying Loki's - surprisingly cold - casket for him.  
When they got back to the Avengers Tower, they headed back up to Tony's floor. This time, Loki was the one to break the silence. "Put it in here," Loki muttered as he unsealed his magically locked closet door.  
Tony did as he was told and put the blue casket in the closet on the top shelf, without a word.  
Loki closed the door again and sealed it with his magic. "Good," was all Loki said.  
"Jarvis, what time is it?" Tony asked.  
"The time is now five thirty-four."  
"Huh... gettin' close to dinner time." Tony hadn't had an actual meal in weeks, since before Pepper left. He didn't care too much to go even downstairs to get a decent meal. He just snacked on whatever he had on hand, and drank excessive amounts of alcohol. He was dying for a real meal - and he even had a good reason to go out and get one: he had company. He turned to Loki, "D'ya wanna go out?"  
Loki stared at Tony as if he were stupid. "How is going out with the most famous man on the planet going to keep me low key? I think people would notice that over me wearing a bit of armour."  
"We'll -"  
"Sir," Jarvis interrupted, "the Avengers are calling a meeting."  
Tony frowned. " _Why?_ We aren't even all together - everyone's everywhere."  
"Clint has just returned. Natasha and Bruce will be joining you via video calls."  
Tony sighed, "and I  _have_  to be there?"  
"Yes, sir. You have an expected two minutes before Clint comes up to get you."  
"What about Thor?"  
"His presence is not currently mandatory."  
Tony sighed, turning to Loki. "I gotta go. Stay here, alright? This shouldn't take long. It's not important unless we're all actually together. I'll be back in five."  
"Where else am I to go?"  
"Oh, I don't know," Tony shrugged, "anywhere you think you could rule."  
Loki grinned, but sat down on the couch and grabbed the cherries he had left. "I will be here."  
Tony nodded and practically ran into the elevator to go downstairs to attend the meeting before Clint came up to get him.  
When the elevator doors opened, Clint was standing just outside, which wasn't much better.  
"What happened to two minutes?"  
"I never said that."  
"Whatever. What do you want?"  
"Come on," Clint headed towards the meeting room.  
Steve was already sitting at the giant circular table, with Natasha and Bruce's live images projected onto the wall. Clint sat down beside Steve and crossed his arms.  
Tony sat at his master's chair, at the front of the table with the best view of everything and everyone. "What's going on, guys?"  
"Steve told us what happened," Clint began.  
"What happened?" Tony asked, lost already.  
"Are you asking for specifics, or don't you remember?"  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
"You seem surprisingly sober," Clint noted.  
Tony cocked his head to the side, pondering that. He did drink a lot, and he felt pretty sober... how wasn't he still drunk? Was it possible that Loki did something to him?  
"Clint," Natasha warned, implying that he was going too far. "Tony, why didn't you tell us that Loki was back?"  
"I really didn't have time to call up a meeting about it - besides, none of you were even in the city... or state, except for Steve, and I called him."  
"Yeah, and then you got drunk off your ass, again," Clint responded.  
"Tony, you can't keep doing this," Natasha took over. "Steve was frozen again because of you. You almost died. You could have ruined everything and gotten the world destroyed."  
"But I didn't."  
"Tony, that's not the point," Steve interrupted.  
"You can't keep drinking like this," Natasha concluded. "It's gone on long enough. You've lost too many things and people because of drinking, don't let the Avengers be one of them."  
"Wait," Tony stood up, objecting, "you can't kick me out. You can't take the Avengers away from me."  
"We'll be forced to leave if you don't get rid of your drinking habits," Bruce spoke up. "We'll support you, we can make it -"  
"No, no,  _no_ ," Tony growled. "This doesn't concern you guys. Keep personal things and business separate. Worry about Iron Man, not Tony."  
"Tony is Iron man," Steve informed.  
"Tony, you put them together," Natasha shook her head. "You drank today when you were supposed to be fighting."  
"Well, Iron Man needed a drink."  
"If you need a drink bad enough to risk your life and everyone else's lives, you need to get help. We can deal with the media while you get sober and if we need it, we can get some backup -"  
"No. I don't need help. The world needs Iron Man, I can't just -"  
"The world can do without Iron Man if he puts everyone in even more danger," Steve input.  
"We're not having this discussion. I'm fine. Even if I'm not, Iron Man is."  
"You can't keep doing this!" Natasha yelled after him.  
"I can do whatever I want!" Tony turned around, yelling back. "I'm  _sick_! I'm a little bit fucked up right now, thanks, and if I choose to turn to alcohol, then that's what I'll do! If you wanted me to fight today, I  _had_  to have a drink - that was not an option. I didn't mean to have as much as I did, but I can't do anything about that." Tony left and headed back upstairs before anything more could be said.  
When Tony got back up to his floor he walked past Loki, who was seductively eating cherries again, and headed straight for his bad to pour himself a drink, then left into his bedroom.  
Loki stared after Tony, confused. What happened to him? Loki knew how to pull people's strings and push their buttons in every way he wanted, but Tony didn't seem to notice or care.  
Curiously, Loki positioned himself in a sitting position. "Talking computer?"  
"Yes, Mr. Loki?"  
"What happened?"  
Suddenly, the security tapes were broadcasting the scene from the meeting room in front of Loki. Loki paid close attention, watching and listening to everything.  
When it was over, he sighed. Loki almost...  _almost_  felt bad for Tony... or maybe he did. He couldn't stop himself from getting up and walking to where Tony was; sitting on his bed in the dark, staring at the glass in his hand.  
Loki sat down beside Tony and put his hand on the top of Tony's glass. "Should you really?"  
"Yes."  
"I chose quite an interesting person," Loki chuckled lightly. "I do not know whether I should sympathize with you or not."  
"Why would you?" Tony looked up at Loki.  
"That's none of your -" Loki cut himself off, sighing. "Self destruction... losing people... family issues... You are very 'fucked up,'" Loki quoted. "I am, too."  
Tony removed his glass out from under Loki's hand and brought it up to take a sip, but Loki put his hand back on it and forced Tony to lower it back onto his lap. "Don't."  
"Why? Why not? Why are you doing this?"  
"It is... strange," Loki paused. "It almost feels like I am comforting an old friend."  
Tony stared at Loki, not quite sure what to say.  
Loki stood up and grabbed Tony's glass, ending the sentimental moment, "do not be an idiot, Stark. I will need you. When that time comes, I will need you to be  _functional_." Loki left Tony alone again and headed back out to his couch, drinking Tony's drink on the way out.  
Loki laid down and got comfortable on the couch, munching on more of his cherries. Eventually, he got bored and tired enough that he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I know - Loki comforting Tony seems so out of character and weird and it's not something Loki would do. He'd most likely either ignore Tony or he'd roll his eyes and say "mortals are too sentimental. Suck it up, you mewling quim, I will need you able to function when you play your role in my plans," or something. But - there is a reason for this; I promise. I just can't tell you yet, and that makes the ending sound really terrible and I don't like that, but please, bear with me and trust me - it's justified. d:  
> And I know Tony isn't really his usual self-absorbed, sassy-ass self right now either - but he's emotional. He's losing his girl, he might lose his Avengers, he's sharing his floor with the #1 enemy, and has lots of anxiety. He'll be Tony again soon though. teehee.


	5. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony owes Loki some food, and Loki thoroughly enjoys.

Tony crouched down in front of the couch and put his face right next to Loki's. " _Hey_!" he yelled.  
Loki immediately sat up and poorly shot Tony away from him - only sending him flying back onto the floor. "What was that for?!" Tony yelled.  
" _What was 'hey' for?!_ " Loki growled.  
"I needed to wake you up!"  
"Is there something wrong with saying 'hello, wake up?'"  
"Yes," Tony nodded, "that's not as much fun."  
Growling, Loki stood up and walked straight into Tony's room. He stumbled over to Tony's bed and collapsed onto it, curling himself up in the blankets.  
"What are you doing?" Tony asked in the doorway, watching Loki.  
"Sleep," Loki grumbled. "Leave."  
Tony obliged, and headed downstairs. He snuck past Clint and Steve and grabbed the coffee pot, two mugs, the bowl of sugar and the carton of milk, then snuck back upstairs. He set everything down on his coffee table, and slid that into his room. "I got something for you."  
"What?" Loki groaned.  
"It's coffee."  
"I do not know or care what that is."  
"It's... a, uh, Earthling morning tradition?"  
Loki sat up and looked at Tony, raising an eyebrow. "Earthling morning tradition?"  
"Just trust me, you'll love it," Tony grinned as he poured some coffee in one of the mugs.  
Loki yawned and slowly made his way over to Tony, grabbing the coffee filled mug, and drank it. He immediately spat it out, all over Tony. "I should kill you for tricking me into that," Loki growled, giving Tony a terrifying death stare.  
"Wait - wait, wait,  _wait_!" Tony grabbed some sugar and milk and put an average amount into the coffee. "Here. Some people like it better like this."  
Loki gave Tony another look before another sip from the mug. Without a word, Loki turned around and sat back down on Tony's bed, covering himself with the blankets, keeping the coffee in his hands.  
A small but genuine smile crept up on Tony's lips. Loki liked the coffee. Tony did something that a God liked... If only humans were that easy to work with.  
"So?" Tony asked, sitting down at the foot of the bed.  
"Do you have any books?" Loki asked, not interested in conversing about anything else.  
"Um, yeah, I think so, why?"  
"I would like one. Go get me one."  
"I... um, alright. About what?"  
Loki shook his head, "I don't care."  
Tony nodded and left the room. "Jarvis? Do we have any books?"  
"Yes, sir. Miss Potts has a short selection of books sitting on a small bookshelf in the corner of the living room."  
"The... My living room?"  
"Yes, sir."  
Confused, Tony made his way to the living room and looked at the corners. Sure enough, there were a few books on a bookshelf. "How long has that been there for?"  
"About six months."  
"Oh, wow." Tony grabbed as many books as he could carry, and brought them back to Loki, dropping them all on the bed beside him. "Here."  
Without a word, Loki picked up a few books and skimmed through the summaries at the back until the found one that looked the least boring, and he began reading.  
"So," Tony began again. "I have to work. I have a, uh, mission."  
Loki slowly nodded, hardly listening.  
"Come with me."  
"Why?" Loki made a disgusted look, not looking up from his book.  
"Because... keep me company."  
"I'm sure you can find another. I am busy."  
"I want  _your_  company," Tony lied. He just needed to keep an eye on Loki, and honestly, he might be useful for where he was going. "Come on. Spend time with me."  
Loki sighed, "you are annoying. Leave me be."  
"Loooki," Tony groaned, drooping his head downwards. "Please? For me? You can bring your book."  
Loki stayed silent; ignoring Tony.  
"I'll buy you a new book when you finish that one. A better one. A library - I'll buy you an entire library. And - and I'll put it in this building. I... I-I'll kneel for you."  
Loki raised an eyebrow at Tony's last suggestion; a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "You sound truly desperate."  
"I just want you around. Please?"  
"I sense that you are not going to give up?"  
"Nope."  
"Fine," Loki finally agreed, slamming his book shut. "I expect a library when we get back."  
Tony nodded, "deal. Come on," he called out as he ran out to get dressed into his armour. By the time Loki had followed him into the room, Tony was already suited up. "How do you want me to carry you?"  
"What?"  
"We have to fly there, we're going down to Washington."  
"How far is that? Can we not walk?"  
"Walk? That would take like, a month. We have to fly, we'll be there in - well, I've never flown so far with someone else, before..." Tony trailed off, not sure how fast he should fly.  
Loki stared at Tony, "turn around."  
"... Why?"  
" _Turn around_."  
Tony slowly and cautiously turned around, putting his back to Loki.  
Loki ran and jumped onto Tony's back, wrapping his arms and legs around Tony, keeping his book in hand.  
Unprepared for that, Tony stumbled over, catching himself on the wall, "what are you doing?!"  
"Just fly."  
Tony redeemed his balance, then jumped out of the window and started flying off to Washington. Loki sat himself upright so he was sitting on Tony's back as if were Tony were a horse.  
Loki opened his book to continue reading, but the wind shot it out of his hands. "Stark!" Loki yelled, as if he were to blame.  
"I got it. Hold on," Tony muttered. Loki leaned forwards, wrapping his arms around Tony, and Tony began flying downwards to grab Loki's book. He caught it before it hit the top of a building, and gave it back to Loki, "you know, you really can't fly  _and_  read. Wait until we land."  
Loki grimaced, highly displeased with the entire situation, but held onto the book, and waited.  
A matter of minutes later, Tony told Loki to "hold onto me again, I'm gonna land." Loki held onto Tony again, and Tony landed in front of a rather massive building.  
Loki jumped off of Tony's back and stared at the building. "Where are we?"  
"NASA headquarters."  
"That means nothing to me."  
"It's the National Aeronautics and Space Administration."  
"Why are we here?"  
"I need to try to build a communicator between here and Asgard."  
Loki laughed, "you brought me here to waste my time. Thank you, Stark."  
"It'll work. Come on," Tony led the way to front doors. "I need to talk to whoever has the most power, here," he told one of the workers.  
"You're joking, right?" the worker questioned, as if Tony were stupid.  
"No," Tony shook his head and began explaining what he needed to do and why he had to get it.  
After an hour and a lot of complications, Tony was able to talk to the NASA Administrator, Charles Bolden.  
Loki sat at the back corner of the room on a counter, reading his book while Tony met with the Administrator and did things Loki found to be rather stupid.  
"Mr. Stark," Charles held his hand out.  
Tony took his hand, shaking it, "Mr. Bolden. It's nice to meet 'ya."  
"The honour is all mine. I understand that you need a satellite?"  
Tony nodded, "yes."  
"May I inquire as to why you're making such a request?"  
"You know of the Avengers, right?"  
Charles nodded.  
"Great. Well, I need to be able to reach Thor."  
"You want to reach another planet? Do you know how long we have tried -"  
"Yeah, well, you didn't have me. I can make it work."  
"How do you purpose you do that?"  
"I'll modify the satellite to only work with the communicators - that way there's no interruptions and the signal will be a bit stronger. I'll of course have to boost the signal... I don't know, a billion percent? I'll point it in the exact right position; it'll take a some tinkering, but I can do it. I won't be able to tell if it works or not until Thor comes back and can take it to Asgard, though."  
"How do you intend on boosting the signal and getting that much power?"  
"I'm Tony Stark. Look at what I'm wearing," he stood back so Charles could see his Iron Man suit. "I can do anything."  
In the corner of the room, Loki had looked up from his book to observe Tony, almost amused.  
"That does not answer my question, Mr. Stark. How will you expect to get that much power? We would have to drain the city - or the country, if not world."  
"An arc reactor. I'll build a big one - bigger than big. It'll be huge and powerful enough."  
"How do you know that will work?"  
"I'm alive, aren't I?"  
Charles pondered that for a moment. "Where do you intend on keeping it?"  
"I don't know. Build me a place to keep it." Tony turned and headed over to Loki. "Would you be able to magically seal it in to protect it?" he asked in a hushed voice, so no one would know of Loki's true identity.  
"Why would I want to do that?"  
"I'm giving you a place to stay, keeping you hidden in the Avenger's Tower, you have your own closet, I bought you clothes, I feed you and I'm getting you a library. The least you could do is seal something for me."  
"You're doing that because you love me," Loki smiled.  
"You don't want to do this from the goodness of your heart?"  
Loki grinned and shook his head, "I haven't got one."  
Tony sighed, and headed back to Charles. "I'll pay for everything if you can get a really big room built for it, as soon as possible."  
"How big, how soon?"  
"Yesterday Thor said he'd be back soon. I don't have a time. The sooner the better. I'd say... make it... one hundred or one fifty feet tall and wide. I don't know, just make it big. I'll get working on the arc reactor. Come on Lo - Laurence?"  
Loki gave Tony a weird look, but closed his book and got up, following Tony out the door and into the hallway. "You could not have chosen a better name?"  
"Was else was I supposed to say? Loki isn't exactly a common name, especially around me. Leonard is not a bad name to have; you're lucky I didn't call you Lana or some other girl name or something."  
"Anything would be better, Star - Was it not Laurence?"  
"Same thing."  
"I do not wish to be known as Laurence,  _or_ Leonard. You could have called me Tony and that would have been bett- ... well, no, that would be much worse."  
Tony stopped walking and stared at Loki. "That's my name!"  
"Oh, so it is," Loki grinned as he kept walking.  
Tony huffed as he began walking again, "you aren't going to get to me that easily."  
"I've no idea what you are talking about."  
"Hold on," Tony warned.  
Loki stopped in front of the exit, about to turn around to ask what Tony was talking about, but before he could, Tony had picked him up and flew out of the door, heading off to return to New York.  
" _Stark_!" Loki hissed.  
"What?!"  
"Put me down.  _Now_."  
Tony stopped flying and hovered in the sky, "you want me to let you go?"  
Loki looked downwards and sighed, "from a survivable height, perhaps?"  
"We have to get back somehow, how else do you want to go?"  
"On your back."  
"Just relax, I can go faster with you in my arms - I don't have to worry about you falling off. Just hold on," Tony began flying again - faster than before, and ended up back at the Avengers Tower in less than half the time it took to get to Washington.  
When they were back inside on Tony's floor, Tony set Loki down and began pacing around, listing what he would need and where he would get it, and Jarvis took note.  
Loki crossed his arms over his chest and growled. "Forgetting something?"  
Tony thought about it for a second before snapping his fingers as if he had just gotten a lightbulb idea, "how am I going to get all of this down to Washington? I can't possibly build it here and try to get it there, but I don't have what I need to build it there..."  
"You imbecile, you owe me a library."  
"Yes, I know that, and I'll get you one - but first I have to do this. Besides, I didn't say when."  
"So, that's how you work?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Tony muttered, stepping out of his Iron Man suit.  
"You made a promise so you get what it is that you wanted, but made sure not to specify when you would do so, so that you can fulfill that promise when it is at your earliest convenience?"  
"I'm still working, I don't have time for this. It's not my fault you want the damn thing right  _now_. Go read your other books, I'm busy trying to do some important things."  
"Well, excuse me for being born," Loki muttered, leaving into the elevator before Tony could respond in any way.  
Tony stared at the elevator doors and frowned. "I don't feel bad," he told himself. "I didn't do anything wrong. I  _have_ to get this done." He went down to his workshop in one of his basements and started creating plans on how to sort everything out, then he started working on the arc reactor. Once he had a major part of it built, he dragged it up the elevator, got back in his suit and flew it down to Washington, then flew back to the tower at the speed of sound to repeat the process several times over.  
All the while, about seventy odd workers were working on Tony's requested custom built room for the arc reactor. As Tony brought more pieces to Washington, he set them inside the boarder of the room and joined the pieces together, building the reactor as the room itself was built.  
Eventually, some odd hours later when Tony was finally finished, he put his suit away and went to go to bed, but he found that his bedroom door had been magically sealed shut, just as the closet door was.  
Tony sighed, "Jarvis? Show me the live recordings from my room."  
"Yes, sir," Jarvis obeyed, projecting the live footage onto the wall.  
In Tony's bed, Loki was sleeping soundly, curled up in a ball in Tony's blankets.  
"Great," Tony nodded. "He stole my room." He sighed again and curled himself up on the couch, too exhausted to do anything else.

  
  


Loki flicked a small spark of magic at Tony, shocking him awake. "What was that?!" Tony yelled, rubbing his arm, completely awake.  
"I had to wake you somehow," Loki rolled his eyes.  
"So I get hurt by your magic when I wake you  _and_  when you wake me?"  
"It's your fault for not avoiding the circumstances of getting hurt."  
"And what circumstances are those?"  
"Wake up before me and wake me up pleasantly - preferably with some of that hot drink you supplied three days ago."  
"Coffee?" Tony raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes. That."  
"I have worked my ass off, and I finally get to sleep and you wake me up after... Jarvis, how many hours of sleep did I get?"  
"Three, sir," Jarvis answered.  
"After three hours of sleep... to get  _coffee_?"  
"Yes," Loki nodded.  
"Go back to sleep," Tony groaned and fell back onto the couch.  
"It is your own fault that you have been so occupied by such an absurd mission to get sleep."  
"Well, you could have helped instead of overreacting and leaving."  
"Go get the coffee, Stark."  
"No."  
"Is coffee just as unreasonable as the library  _you offered_? Forgive me for my selfishness. I will just go search until I find it, myself," Loki stood up from his chair, "perhaps your teammates will be better mannered than you."  
Tony groaned and got up off the couch, "sit down," he ordered Loki as he dragged himself out to the elevator. "I'll be back."  
Tony slowly managed to get himself off of the elevator and down to the kitchen to get the coffee.  
"Tony, gross, put some pants on," Clint muttered as he walked past Tony, who was only wearing boxers.  
"I own the place, Barton. Close your eyes."  
"Since when do you take milk and sugar in your coffee?" Steve questioned suddenly, watching as Tony screwed up his usual coffee.  
"Since I wanted to, why's it concern you?"  
"I was just asking."  
"Whatever woke up this morning is an idiot," Clint muttered.  
Tony stared at Clint and in the most serious, hateful tone he could manage, he growled " _I know._ " He then made his way back to the elevator to give Loki his coffee, ignoring Steve mutter something about Tony being weirder and more moody than normal.  
When Tony walked back onto his floor, Loki immediately jumped up from his chair as his eyes lit up. He ran over to Tony and gently grabbed the mug with both hands, sipping the coffee.  
"You're welcome," Tony muttered.  
"I know," Loki retorted, unwilling to thank Tony.  
Tony groaned and slowly headed to his bedroom, "I'm going back to bed - thanks for stealing that, by the way."  
"I did not steal it. It was not taken."  
"I own it."  
"Well, then occupy it."  
"I was -"  
"Busy," Loki finished. "I know."  
Tony shut his mouth and left into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.  
Loki immediately followed, opening the door again to stand in the doorway. "You know," Loki said, sipping on his coffee, "in a situation like this, Thor's idea of 'soon' usually consists of three days."  
"So?" Tony questioned, climbing under his blankets.  
Loki frowned at Tony, "do you not know how long you have been working?"  
"No, not really."  
"It has been almost three days."  
"Sixty four hours, to be exact," Jarvis announced.  
"Thor... might be here today?"  
Loki nodded.  
Tony groaned and threw the blankets off of himself, "great." He grabbed Loki's coffee and swallowed it all in a couple of gulps, ignoring Loki's insults and the burn in his throat. Then he quickly ran down to get his suit, and flew off to Washington.  
Tony immediately began configuring everything to work right. He needed to wirelessly connect the arc reactor to the satellite, configure the satellite to work only with his communicators, and try to figure out which direction to point it in - which is when he needed help.  
Who could help him? Loki obviously wouldn't. Who else knew anything about Asgard?  
Having the perfect answer, he took off again without a second thought.  
With the help of Jarvis, Tony managed to track down Jane Foster.  
He landed in front of what he hoped to be Jane's front door, and knocked.  
Shortly after, a girl opened the door. Judging by what Thor had said about Jane, it looked like Tony had found the girl he needed.  
Before Jane could question if Iron Man/Tony Stark was really at her doorstep - and why - Tony picked her up and began flying. "I need your help."  
" _Oh my god, we're flying_ ," Jane shouted, squirming around out of both excitement, fear and surprise.  
"You  _are_  Jane, right? Thor's Jane?"  
"Did you just kidnap me without knowing who I am?"  
"I'm not kidnapping you, I'm borrowing you."  
"Without knowing who I am."  
"I need your help," Tony changed the subject. "I'm trying to build a communicator between here and Asgard -"  
"Can I have one?"  
"What? You - No? No, you can't. This is just for Thor and I, so I can contact him when I need to."  
"What about me? What if I need to talk to Thor?"  
"I'll give you my number, you can call me and if it's important, I'll tell Thor."  
"What do you call important?"  
"Something that doesn't involve 'ooh, Thor, I miss you, I'm so sad and lonely without my godly boyfriend.'"  
"I don't talk -"  
"Yeah, yeah, so, you've been to Asgard, right?"  
"Um, yeah."  
"Where is it?"  
"What do you mean where is it? It's in outer space."  
"Yeah, where? What direction?"  
"Up."  
Tony let out a frustrated groan. "Up where? North? North-East? North-West? I need an exact position."  
"I don't have one! Thor just flew us up in a bunch of light. Do you really think calculating every direction we went in to track down where  _exactly_  Asgard was, was the most important thing on my mind?"  
"Let me guess, you were too busy thinking ' _oh my god_!'" Tony let out a squeal, imitating what could only be defined as a fangirl squeal from a teenage girl.  
"I didn't do that!"  
Tony stopped flying and hovered in the air with Jane in his arms, "you don't know where Asgard is?"  
"No -"  
"At all? You can't give me  _any_  indication what direction you went it?"  
"No, I'm sorry, we just went up somewhere."  
Tony groaned, "alright. Fine," he turned around and began flying back to take Jane home.  
" _Holy shit, is that Iron Man_?!" a female voice nearly yelled when Tony had set Jane back at her doorstep.  
"Sometimes," Tony answered by reflex.  
"You are right now!"  
"Oh, look at that, I guess I am."  
"This has got to go on facebook, come here," the girl jumped beside Tony and held her phone out to take a picture of them.  
"Darcy..." Jane groaned. "He's busy."  
"Yeah, taking a photo with me."  
Tony popped open his faceplate and forced out a quick smile for the camera, as the girl - Darcey - smiled and took the photo.  
"Thank you!" she grinned.  
"Don't mention it."  
"I am," she nearly sang, holding up her phone as faecbook was loading.  
"Okay, well, I'm off," Tony said, turning to take off again.  
"Wait," Jane protested, grabbing Tony's arm.  
"What?!"  
"I need your number."  
"Why? You have Thor."  
Jane rolled her eyes, "only through you. You just said I could have -"  
"Right, okay." Tony put his hand out and, with the repulsors in his hand, he wrote his number into the ground. "Fill that in when you're done," he muttered, taking off at the speed of sound.  
"Sir," Jarvis suddenly said, "you have drained your power significantly. Might I suggest allowing the suit to charge, or perhaps using a different one?"  
"Might as well," Tony replied, changing his direction towards New York.  
When he got back to his tower, he allowed his suit to charge for a while. He needed a break, anyways. He had been working for three days and had only gotten three hours of sleep. He definitely needed a break.  
"What happened during those three days, anyways?" Tony muttered, heading over to his computer. "Jarvis, start from when I started working, and show me all the recordings all at once? Fast forward through them, too."  
On Tony's computer screen appeared a lot of small boxes, each containing the recordings from a different camera throughout the tower. Completing the request, Jarvis sped the recordings up, allowing Tony to view them quickly.  
It wasn't until he saw Loki leaning against the doorway in the recording of Tony's workshop that Tony asked Jarvis to "play that at normal speed,"and leaned closer to the computer, observing the small box.  
Jarvis obeyed and played the recording at a normal speed, "would you like me to enlarge and unmute it as well, sir?"  
"Sure," Tony nodded. Jarvis did so immediately after.  
While Tony was working away, Loki leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, watching him.  
When Tony burnt himself and cursed, a small smirk appeared on Loki's face. It took Tony a few minutes to recover before continuing to work away. After a more minutes, Tony stepped into his suit and took off to Washington with his tools in hand, and Loki disappeared around the corner.  
Tony fast forwarded through the recording again, and Loki came down to watch Tony several more times.  
"Are you still on that?" Loki asked from his spot at the doorway.  
Tony either ignored or didn't hear Loki - whichever the reason, he didn't reply. Instead, he was mumbling things to himself as he ran around the room, picking things up, setting things down, moving things, losing things, tripping over things...  
Loki shook his head and disappeared around the corner again. He returned only once more, not saying anything again; just watching.  
When Loki left, Tony watched the other recordings, following him. Loki only went upstairs and into Tony's room, sealing the door shut. He went into Tony's bed and got himself comfy under the blankets, falling asleep. Some time later, he woke up and turned to the camera in Tony's room and pointed at it with his hand, and the signal was lost.

Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair, "thanks." He got up and headed up to his floor to visit Loki. He should probably take Loki out to get some food or something - he had been kept in the tower for three days without any clue what anything was, where to go or any help. For that, Tony felt bad.  
"I feel bad," Tony announced rather loudly as he walked out of the elevator and onto his floor. He walked around searching for Loki before he continued.  
"You are capable of such emotions?" a voice replied from behind.  
Tony jumped, not expecting Loki to be right behind him. "Surprising, isn't it? Look, I didn't mean to work for so long; I didn't think it had been three days. I feel terrible."  
Loki stared at Tony, not saying anything.  
"Come on," Tony nodded towards the door, "let's get lunch."  
"You wish to feed me, merely to recompense your own feelings?"  
"Don't turn this into something selfish, Loki. Just come out with me."  
Loki narrowed his eyes at Tony, but nodded, "fine - but I am continuing to refuse travel via your ways of transportation."  
"Great! That's no big deal; we can walk. I know a great place we can go -" Tony paused, looking over Loki's outfit. It was different. Instead of seeing himself on the shirt, he saw Batman's logo. "What's with the shirt?"  
"Oh, do you like it? I had your voice tell me where to get new clothing that was not so... obnoxious."  
"Obnoxious? Really? Thank you. Whatever, I need to buy you a suit anyways, come on."  
"What happened to lunch?" Loki protested.  
"We can't go out with you looking like that. The restaurant in fairly high class. They won't serve you like that."  
Loki growled, "then I refuse."  
"They have cherries."  
"What are 'cherries?'"  
Tony gave Loki a weird look, "um... they're those red things you were eating... rather interestingly."  
"Oh, yes. I am quite fond of those."  
"I can tell," Tony nodded. "Come on out, it'll be fun."  
Loki sighed in defeat, "fine."  
Tony grinned, "great, give me thirty seconds!" he quickly ran into his closet and changed into a pair of his own dress pants and a dress shirt, grabbing his jacket and tie to put on later. "Alright, come on," Tony repeated as he walked back into the main room, pressing the button for the elevator.  
The next two hours were agonizing for Loki as he was sized and forced to try on countless things. Tony, on the other hand, was having lots of fun. It was beyond obvious how much Loki hated being touched, sized, having to undress, redress and repeat the process several times, yet the only argument he gave was shooting Tony the occasional death look - which was somewhat worse than any other Tony had received.  
When Loki was finished and was dressed in a nice suit, Tony handed the man a fifty dollar tip. "Send me the bill," he requested as he left. He then began walking with Loki down to one of his favourite places.  
When they got to the restaurant - about half an hour later - it was clear that a few of the workers were rather surprised when Tony was walking - and with another man. Tony never didn't drive... and his business dates never arrived with him, either. The men quickly shrugged it off since it was none of their business, and they had to continue with their jobs, however they kept a curious eye on the pair.  
Tony ignored the stares and the few whispers as he led Loki into the restaurant. Upon utterance, they were immediately seated in Tony's usual spot by the waiter Tony usually got served by. "Can I get you anything to start with?" the waiter asked, handing Loki a menu, setting Tony's down in front of him.  
"We'll have water, for now," Tony requested, trying to keep everything as casual as possible.  
The waiter nodded, and left to get the water.  
Tony observed Loki as he observed the menu. For the most part, Loki looked lost as to what everything was. "In all fairness, I don't know what most of the things are either," Tony stated.  
Loki looked up at Tony with a blank face, before observing the menu again, "where are the cherries?"  
Tony chuckled, amused at Loki's love for cherries. "Here," Tony opened his menu to the page showing a fruit salad, and showed Loki, "it's a fruit salad. It's got a bunch of different fruits, cherries included. I think you'd like it."  
Loki nodded, "I will take it."  
The waiter then came back, setting two glasses half filled with ice on the table, and filled them with water, setting the pitcher of water on the table, as well. "Have you decided on anything, yet, or would you like more time?"  
"Yeah, he'll have a fruit salad," Tony answered the waiter for Loki, "and I'll... uh... make that two, I guess. Can 'ya give him some extra cherries?"  
The waiter nodded, took the menus and left.  
Tony and Loki then sat in silence, staring at each other as they waited. Neither had anything to say.  
It was about ten minutes later that their food arrived, and Loki didn't waste one second to pick up a cherry and put it in his mouth, biting off the stem.  
"Don't do that," Tony muttered, stabbing his fruit with his fork.  
"Do what?"  
" _That_."  
" _What_?!"  
"You know damn well what."  
"I really don't, Stark."  
"That... seductive way you eat cherries. Don't do that here."  
"I am not seductively doing anything. It is your own fault if you find it appealing," Loki muttered. Without breaking eye contact, he picked up another cherry, bringing it up to his mouth. He slowly parted his lips and carefully set the cherry on his tongue, pulling it into his mouth. He wrapped his lips around the cherry and bit down on the very end of it, causing the stem to fall to the table.  
Tony watched as the stem fell, and stared at it. Loki couldn't help but smirk at the effect he seemed to have on Tony; it was quite amusing.  
Snapping out of it, Tony leaned across the table and grabbed Loki's fork, putting in his hand, "use that."  
Loki frowned at Tony, but mimicked Tony's previous actions; stabbing the fork into the fruit. Smirking, he slipped his tongue out of his mouth and guided the cherry in. He wrapped his lips around the fork, and gently slid it out of his mouth, without the cherry. He moaned lightly, "mmm, that's a good cherry." Seconds later, he spat the cherry stem out into the center of the table; tied in a knot.  
By now, Tony was on the edge of his seat, glaring at Loki. "I swear to god, if you don't start eating normally -"  
"What? Will we leave? I am sure the current observers would not think innocently of that."  
Tony immediately began looking around. Loki was right, people were looking at them. He sighed. He could see headlines now;  _Has playboy Tony Stark no limits? Miss Potts has been unseen for weeks, Tony is suddenly spotted with strange man who tongue ties cherry stems_.  
Tony turned his attention towards eating his own food, and finished in a few minutes.  
Loki, however, continued to take his sweet time, seductively eating his fruit.  
"Are you done now?" Tony asked when Loki ate the last piece.  
Loki licked his lips as he swallowed his last piece of fruit, "mmm."  
Tony rolled his eyes and called out for the tab.  
"How was everything on your date, this fine afternoon?" the waiter casually asked.  
Tony raised an eyebrow at the man as he said  _date_ , and Loki simply grinned, highly amused. Noticing Loki's grin from the corner of his eyes, Tony looked at Loki with great curiosity in his own. Was he testing Tony? Loki's grin turned from amused to daring. What was more important to Tony than image? Not much.  
Tony swallowed his pride, and smiled at the waiter, "yes, it was phenomenal. I especially loved the cherries," he winked at Loki.  
"I... I-I'm happy to hear that!" the man smiled and set the bill down in front of Tony, along with a couple of mints, then left to carry on with other customers.  
Tony looked up at Loki who looked... almost surprised, and a bit impressed. He quickly turned his attention to the tab. Without looking at the amount due, he pulled out a fifty and a twenty dollar bill, and stood up. "Ready?" he asked Loki.  
Loki nodded and stood, as well.  
 _Might as well go all out now_. Tony held his arm out for Loki to take so that he could escort him out, and Loki immediately and ever so willingly put his arm through Tony's, accepting his escort offer.  
They left the place with countless looks being thrown their way, and Tony had never felt more self conscious, judged or worried in his life. There were definitely going to be headlines.  
"That was delicious," Loki opinionated when they had wondered onto a new street.  
"I can tell you liked it."  
"I can tell you liked it, as well," Loki smiled rather smugly. "That is almost worth doing again."  
"Yeah, maybe not with cherries next time," Tony replied, ignoring the first part of what Loki said.  
"But cherries are good," Loki protested, licking his lips. "You must get more."  
"I'll get you as many cherries as you want  _if_  you promise not to do that in public again."  
"Oh, where's the fun in that?"  
"You have a really deranged version of fun, y'know that?"  
"I have been informed," Loki grinned rather proudly.  
Tony rolled his eyes, ending the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki likes his cherries... ehehe.
> 
> I'm really sorry about the ending. It's definitely not one of my better ones.  
> What I had written was so incredibly long and had so much stuff in it, I had to cut it into two different chapters, and this was the best place to separate it.  
> So this is sort of like... Chapter 5: part 1.


	6. A Perfect Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to anyone who has read this fic: I got horrid writer's block on this, and after a while I sort of gave up on trying to work it out - but, I've recently been inspired NOT to give up. So, I worked on this and managed to get it done. Finally.  
> ... While doing that, I realized I hate how I've written the previous chapters, so, I'm going to try to improve that, and write longer chapters! (err, starting next chapter.)  
> Now, without further adu, I present to you (after too many months(Ipromisenottodothatagain)) chapter 6:

It finally hit him.

It had finally hit Tony that he was hiding the God that had tried to, and was probably planning to, kill him. Not only that, but he was acting as though he were  _in love_  with him. Oh, that was the best part; faking feelings for an evil villain of the opposite gender. That couldn't be more difficult.

However... if he could get Loki to trust him like he 'trusted' Loki, he could try to get him to stop with his idea of world domination, or try to find out his plans and spoil them before he even had a chance to even begin to unravel them. That was his genius master plan.

Regardless of his intentions, though, his situation was overwhelming. He wasn't good at feelings. He didn't do relationships. Pepper was his second real girlfriend - his first one in... how many decades? He was a  _playboy_ ; he did one night stands and had fuck buddies, nothing more than that. How was he supposed to believably fake love, of all emotions? It just wasn't possible. He could do almost anything... just, not this.

Suddenly, his breathing began to quicken in short, quick pants. He was panicking too much.  _Fuck_. "Jarvis, put the song on," Tony requested as he pulled the car over and tightly gripped the steering wheel, knowing that Jarvis would know exactly what he meant.

"Yes, Sir," Jarvis replied, a second before the song that Pepper had put on a CD to help calm him down played throughout the car stereo.

Tony had no idea what the song was called or who it was by. He hadn't even listened to it until now. All he knew was Pepper said it was Japanese music, and it was the most calming thing she had ever heard, and he needed to stay calm, so he finally gave it a chance.

Keeping his hands tightly around the steering wheel, Tony swallowed hard and closed his eyes before trying to take in slow, deep breaths.

_Think happy thoughts,_  he told himself.  _Happy, like Pepper... who might break up with me. Oh God, what if she never speaks to me again? I can't even handle these fucking attacks, how can I expect her to?_

_That's not happy. Push that out of your mind. Think... Iron Man. Yes. I am Iron Man and I save lives. I saved the entire world with Nat, Clint, Steve, Bruce and Thor... who's brother tried to take over the world... with aliens... and I'm now living with that psychopa–_

_Don't think of that, don't think of that, don't think of that, don't think of that._

With his happy thoughts not turning out to be very happy at all, Tony did his best to completely clear his mind of all thoughts. He took in a deep breath and held it, trying to concentrate on the music.

Just less than ten minutes later, he had miraculously managed to calm down enough to open his eyes and loosen his grip on the steering wheel. He sighed out a gust of air and took in a few deep breaths before turning off the music and continuing to drive.

Of course there was only one place he wanted to go: a bar. There was one about half an hour from the tower, that made the  _best_  drinks. He didn't have enough time to make it there as often as he'd like to, but tonight he just had to go.

Some fifteen minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot. He turned the car off, got out, stuffed his keys in his pocket and swung the front door of the bar open so fast he nearly broke it off the hinges.

"TONY!" the bartender yelled, more than pleased to see his favourite customer.

Tony immediately grinned in response. He loved the guy - even if his good treatment was probably based off of how much money he spent when he came, but Tony didn't really care. He had some pretty good conversations with the guy, he made the greatest drinks,  _and_  he didn't limit Tony. That was all Tony cared for.

"Hey, my man!" Tony greeted as he sat in a stool at the counter. "How's business?"

"Better now that you've arrived. Where've ya' been lately?"

Tony shrugged, "a bit busy,"  _being too depressed to get out of bed until an evil God started living in the tower, _whom I’m now ‘in love’ with,__ "you know how it is."

"Yeah, I hear 'ya. So, what'll it be?"

"Gimme my usual, scotch on the rocks with a twist."

"You know, I've got something better."

"Better? Are you sure? You know I love my scotch."

"And I know you'll love this. Here," he poured Tony a glass of something, mixed with something else, with ice.

Tony didn't even hesitate. He grabbed the glass and took a sip. "What is it? You know what - I doubt I'll remember.  _You_  remember that I like this - and keep 'em coming."

 

Five or six drinks later, Tony was sitting atop of the counter, singing along with the radio that was faintly playing in the background of dozens of conversations.

"Babe," Tony spoke over his shoulder to his bartender, "you got any pizza?"

"Already ordered," the bartender responded while dealing with another customer. It probably looked weird: a bartender ordering pizza for a drunken customer. He thought Tony was a hoot, though - and as high as Tony's bill always was, he never tipped less than a hundred dollars. Once, he tipped a thousand - of course, that was when the bar was at risk of going bankrupt, but nonetheless. He was in debt to Tony, and if Tony wanted pizza, he was damn sure gonna get some. "It should be here anytime."

"Y'know, I could marry you?" Tony sang.

Not too long later, the pizza arrived. Tony took the pizza and began chowing down, while the bartender took care of paying for the pizza and tip, knowing full well Tony would repay him when he paid his bill.

 

After Tony had eaten half of the pizza, he began to feel more sober, so he requested another drink, which was granted.

"Mr. Stark?" a female voice suddenly rang. If Tony didn't know any better, he'd have thought that an angel was calling his name - but such things didn't exist

He set his drink down and turned around in his chair too quickly, causing the room to spin as he slid off the stool. Carefully, he got himself on his feet, gripping the counter to ensure he didn't fall again. Finally, he looked at the woman in front of him, and an eyebrow was instantly raised as he began to check her out.

She was  _perfect_  in every way. She was wearing a black dress that hung just below her knees, but it had a slit in the side that went all the way up to her hips,  _almost_  showing too much. The same couldn't be said about her cleavage, though. Damn, her dress went low - that, or she had her boobs pushed up too high. Either way, Tony was going to have a hard time keeping eye contact.

She was sexy as hell, but she didn't quite seem like the normal girls that wanted his attention. Maybe it was her squared, black glasses that made her look a bit more professional, or her pin straight black hair that went down her ass, or maybe it was the fact that she wearing flats, as opposed to heels. Tony couldn't tell; he was too hazy. All he knew was that she managed to pull off the look flawlessly, while most others would just look like a hooker or something, and that made him want her much more than he wanted anyone else.

"Hey," Tony winked.

"I hear you're the go-to man if you're looking for some fun?"

Tony's eyebrows raised, as did his hopes. "You heard right. Lookin' for some fun?"

"I wasn't... until I saw you. Think you can live up to your reputation?"

"For you? I -" Tony cut himself off, suddenly remembering Loki. Loki, Loki, Loki... how would he react? Tony was supposed to be  _in love_  with the guy, and they were getting along very well - or, as good as they ever would. Tony didn't want to ruin that and get himself killed. Besides, if Loki found out that he had been lying all along? He was certain Loki would do something worse than kill him. "I don't think I can."

"I'm sorry, you're slurring," she smiled an award winning smile. "Did you say yes?"

"I'm kind of in a relationship right now."

"Are you? I didn't peg you as the relationship kind of guy. I'm sorry. I'll just... be on my way, then," she smiled apologetically, and touched his shoulder, running her hand down his arm before turning to leave.

Realizing he was about to lose the greatest girl he had ever seen, he quickly stood up straight, ready to chase after her, "wait." Loki didn't have to know, right? He a magical god, but he wasn't a mind reader - besides, Tony 'loved' him. They weren't dating.

"Yes?" she asked, swiftly turning back around.

"I'm not. It's not a real relationship. I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's not like, official or anything. Just two people fucking around. Not that we do that - we've never done that. Oh, that'd be gross."

She smiled, and her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Mr. Stark, where are you going with this?"

"Hunny, if you came looking for some fun, I'll give you the most fun you'll ever have."

"Is that so?" she grinned.

"Under one condition."

"You have a condition?" her tone was completely dissatisfied.

"Two."

She simply crossed her arms across her chest, waiting to hear the conditions that he had.

"First, you can't be a hooker."

"Would that not require you to pay me?"

"You could bill me. It's happened before."

"I am  _not_  a hooker."

"Didn't think so. A hooker would make that outfit look, y'know," he shrugged, "slutty. You make it look damn good. Still had to make sure, though."

"Second condition?"

"We can't go to my place. It's gotta be at yours."

"That, I can do. Give me your keys."

"My keys?"

"Your car keys. You can't drive, that's obvious, and I'm  _not_  going in a taxi, as I'm sure you don't want to."

Without a word, Tony grabbed his keys from his pocket and handed them to her. "Shall we?" he asked, holding his arm out after she took the keys.

She linked her arm in his, allowing him to escort him out - or, more realistically: she helped him walk out.

They got in the car, and she gave him a rather confused look, "what do I do?"

"I thought you said you could drive?"

"Not this, I have no idea how it works. How do I go?"

Tony laughed, "you're gorgeous enough, you don't have to play dumb. I'm sure you can figure it out, it's not  _that_  technical."

"It works for me. How do I go?"

"Put the key there, turn it key, shift the gear to the D, put your foot on the petal, steer."

"Which petal?" she asked after having completed the previous directions.

"The right one. The left are brakes."

"Gotcha," she winked before flooring it. They both got pushed back into their seats from the force, but neither said a word about it.

Tony only grinned, not wanting to object to her speeding. He thought it was exhilarating; having someone drive as fast as him. Besides, they probably wouldn't get stopped. A pro of not having a secret identity was that after saving a few cop's lives, they often let him off the hook for speeding. Since they were using his car, their chances of a cop even considering chasing after them were slim.

Within no time, she pulled the car over in front of a house above average size.

"Nice place," Tony approved.

"Yeah? Wait 'till you see the bed."

"Why exactly are we waiting?"

"Now that's a good question. Come on," hhe jumped out of the car, running to the front door.

Tony followed, not quite as fast.

"It's locked. Can you pick it?"

"You don't have keys?"

"Where am I going to put them?" she stepped back and held her arms out. "I'm not carrying anything."

"Right. Okay, um. No. I don't have anything to use."

She groaned, "great. Fine, I'll try." She inserted her fingernail into the deadbolt, and with a swift movement, it was unlocked.

"I have  _never_  understood how women do that. Do you possess magic?"

She snorted, "because that exists."

"You never know."

Saying nothing more, she opened the door and turned on the lights. "Find my bedroom in under thirty seconds and I'll reward you."

"With...?"

"I promise it'll be worth it," she seductively whispered in his ear.

The next second, Tony was gone, searching her house for her bedroom.

"Found it!" Tony yelled from a room with pink walls so light it was almost white, and what had to be a Queen sized bed with leopard blankets.

"That you have. Congratulations."

"My reward?"

She stepped into Tony's arms, placing a lustful, passionate, hungry kiss on his lips.

 

Between the sun in his eyes and the rustling of the blankets caused by the movement beside him, Tony slowly opened his eyes with a groan, trying his best to ignore his headache. He looked over at the woman he had just had the most amazing night of his life with, and smiled. "Good morning, gorgeous," Tony murmured, kissing her nose.

"I was just about to get up and leave you a note. I have to go to work."

"I guess that means no morning sex?"

"As tempting as that sounds..."

"Don't worry, I get it."

"That you do,  _Iron Man_." She jumped out of bed, grabbing a new outfit. Tony shamelessly watched as she dressed in her undergarments, then a dress shirt and some classy black pants. Once she had dressed, Tony got up and found his own clothes.

"So, what would this note have said?" Tony asked as they reached the front door.

"Probably... something like, 'I don't really do one night stands, but this one is an exception. Maybe we could do it again, sometime?'"

"I'm up for it. You know where to find me." Tony kissed her cheek softly before heading off to his car to drive home.

 

"Where have you been?" Loki questioned without looking up from his book, the second Tony walked through the door.

"Hello to you, too," Tony muttered as he closed the door and leaned back against it. He was surprised he had made it home before he vomited - he felt unbelievably nauseous. "I got too drunk. Blacked out somewhere."

Loki smirked.

"What's so funny?"

"You. It is so... typical. You are an idiot."

"Thanks for your concern."

"What is there to possibly be concerned about?"

"I don't know, maybe I gambled and lost my armour, my tower, my mansion, maybe I blurted out that I'm keeping a God hidden in said tower, or maybe I lost the car and had to walk home, and I broke my hand which you haven't seen me use yet."

Loki looked up from his book to look at Tony, "did any of that happen?"

"... No."

"Well then -"

"but it  _could_  have."

"Are you upset about my not being concerned, Stark?" Loki questioned, with a tone of disbelief and amusement.

"No." Tony answered simply, taking a second to think before saying anything more. If he wanted Loki's trust, he had to spend time with him, which he clearly going to have to fight for, since Loki wasn't overly enthusiastic about spending much time with Tony. He took in a deep breath, and sighed. "If you were gone the night, I'd be searching everywhere in New York."

"Yes, -" Loki began.

"I'm in love with you," Tony continued, cutting him off, "and what are you? I have to bribe you to spend time with me." With a huff of his breath, Tony shrugged his coat off and swung it on the back of the couch, trying to seem bothered.

"And then you break those promises..."

"Well, you could be nicer, or even pretend to want to spend time with me."

"Hmm." Loki set his book down and gave Tony his full attention. "I suppose you are right. Do forgive me. I shall make note to not be so... mean."

"Uhh..." Tony trailed off, staring at him. Did he just fall right into Tony's plan? Or did he have a plan of his own? Why did he agree so suddenly; so easily? Tony shook his head, kicking his shoes off, "I'm sure."

"Allow me to prove it. Where were you last night?"

"I told you...?"

"Ah, ah, ah. I am the God of Lies. I know you are lying to me, Stark. Do share your adventure with me."

_Fuck. Oh fuck._ Tony took in a deep breath and sat on the couch parallel to the chair Loki was in.

"I went to a bar. My favourite bar. I got drunk."

"Yes, and?"

"And what? There's nothing to it. I passed out in my car."

"Did you?"

"Yes."

"And it could not have driven you home?""

"Err... no. Technology isn't that advanced, yet."  _As if it wasn't possible to make, anyways._

"Then I suppose it is lucky that you had your car to pass out in."

Tony nodded, agreeing, as he sat down on the couch, facing the chair Loki was in. "How was your night?"

"Quiet. Lonesome."

"Sorry."

"How are you feeling, then?"

"Fi -  _oh_ ," Tony put his hands on his stomach. "Maybe not." He jumped to his feet and ran to the kitchen sink, unable to make it to the bathroom. Half a second after he got there, his pizza and all of that alcohol came up.

"That is disgusting," Loki noted from the doorway.

Tony coughed and turned the tap on, then flipped Loki off.

Loki made an offended noise, and walked over to Tony. He lifted Tony's shirt up, and put his hand on his stomach. Tony reached for his arm to remove it, but Loki used his other hand to grab Tony's. A moment later, his magic slipped from his hands, healing Tony.

"That is  _nice_ ," Tony nearly moaned.

Loki slipped his hand out of Tony's shirt, and took a step back.

"So you can heal others?"

"Yes, if I desire."

"You desire my health," Tony winked. "Thank you."

Loki nodded, and left for the living room.

Tony cleaned out the sink, then followed. "Well, my stomach's empty. Wanna go get breakfast?"

"Where?"

"I know a place that makes  _really_  good pancakes."

"Where?" Loki repeated.

"It's... about a fifteen minute drive."

"I am not getting in any of your cars. Think of an alternative."

"They have cherries - and whipped cream."

Loki shook his head.

"Dammit," Tony sighed. "Okay, uhh... There's a place just down the road. I've never been there.. It doesn't look the greatest, but we can try it out."

Loki slowly nodded, "alright."

Tony stared at Loki for a few moments. "Can we...?" he trailed off, grabbing all of Loki's hair, and holding it up for a few seconds before dropping it. "Hold on," he said, running off to his bedroom. He picked through Pepper's things, until he finally found a hair elastic. He headed back out to Loki, and put his hair up.

" _What_  are you doing?"

"People might recognize you. You're more recognizable with your armour and your horns... but everyone has still seen that hair."

"I do not approve of this."

"Yeah, well, I don't exactly approve of you ruling this planet. Guess we're even." Tony grabbed Loki's Batman shirt, and tossed it to him, "get dressed."

Without a word, Loki stood, and put his shirt on, then followed Tony to the door, putting his shoes on.

"Ready?" Tony asked, grabbing his coat.

Loki nodded.

Tony opened the door, and motioned for Loki to go ahead, then followed behind.

The walk to the restaurant was silent.

When they got there, the waitress was walking towards the kitchen with a stack of dirty dishes in her hands.

Tony took a second to check her out: brown hair half way down her back, long, tan legs - she didn't have much of an ass, but her chest more than made up for it. Still, after Tony's last lover, he didn't find her to be all that impressive.

"I'll be with you in one moment," she smiled, passing them.

Tony nodded, and began looking around the place while he waited. It wasn't anything special. Sure, it looked nice, but everything looked... cheap. It was all made of wood, and the cushions on the chairs and booths, as well as the curtains and the tablecloths were all made from white and blue checkerboard fabric. Hell, even the waitress's uniform was a blue shirt and white apron.

"T-Tony Stark?"

At the mention of his name, Tony's head snapped to face the waitress, who was frozen in place, staring at him. "Yep?"

Her eyes widened, and she scurried off to the kitchen so fast, she nearly dropped her plates.

"What is wrong with her?" Loki asked.

Tony chuckled, watching as she turned the corner, disappearing out of sight. "Fan girl, probably."

"Sounds terrible."

"Sometimes."

Moments later, the girl returned. Her hair was suddenly up, she was wearing earrings and she had lipstick on. Tony smiled at her, and Loki rolled his eyes. "Follow me, please."

Tony nodded, and motioned for Loki to go on ahead. Loki gave Tony a look, but followed, and as they were led to a booth at the back of the restaurant. They got in, and the woman handed them menus, "I- um... Can I start you off with anything to drink?"

"I'll have coffee," Tony requested. "Lo - er, Laurence, will probably have coffee, too."

"Will I?" Loki questioned.

"Considering you woke me up and had a fit when you didn't get your coffee,  _yes_."

"Ah," Loki nodded. "I like coffee."

The woman looked at the two of them, then nodded, scurrying off, again.

"We  _must_  pick a better name."

"Why do you hate Laurence? You know, I'm sure all of the Laurence's on Earth are really offended by that. Good luck getting them to kneel for you."

Loki snorted, "they  _will_  kneel."

"So,  _Laurence_ , what would you prefer to be called?" Tony asked, changing the subject. "I've already started calling you Laurence, so we probably shouldn't change it, now. What if I call you Mr. uhh.. Mr. Smith?"

"That is even worse than Laurence."

"I'm open to suggestions."

"It does not matter, now."

"What about Wayne? Laurence Wayne."

"Wayne?"

"Yeah, Batman's secret identity. He's Bruce Wayne. You should know that, you're wearing his shirt."

Before Loki could reply, the woman came back steadily carrying a tray on her hand. She set the coffee mugs down in front of Tony and Loki, and set a small bowl containing packets of sugar and individual milk and cream cartons in the middle of the table.

"Thanks," Tony smiled.

"What did you do to this last time?" Loki asked.

Tony chuckled lightly and poured a portion of milk and two packets of sugar in Loki's coffee. "He got in an accident," he whispered to the waitress. "Amnesia."

She nodded, with a look of sorrow and understanding on her face. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Tony shrugged, "happens."

"Are you guys ready to order?"

"Oh," Tony laughed, looking down at his menu, "no, we haven't even opened the menu, yet. Sorry, we'll need a few minutes."

"No problem!" she shoved her notepad in her apron, and began backing away. "I'll come back, sorry."

Loki glared at her as she ran back down to the kitchen. "I do not like her."

"Why not? She seems sweet."

Loki shook his head, and took a sip of his coffee - then made a face. "This is horrid."

"Is it?" He took a sip of his own coffee, and made a similar face of disgust. "Yeah," he croaked out. "Gross. Well, let's see what else they've got." He opened the menu and looked at everything. "What do you say to the breakfast special?"

"Err... great?"

"Bacon, eggs, toast, home fries?"

Loki nodded, "okay."

"You have no idea what that is, do you?"

"No."

"You'll love it."

Tony set his menu down, just in time to see the woman walking towards them.

"Hi!"

"Hey, again. Haven't seen you in ages."

She giggled. "Have you decided yet?"

"Yeah, can we get two breakfast specials?"

"Sure! Umm... White, whole wheat, or rye bread?"

"Uhh... White. We'll have white."

She nodded, and scurried away, again.

"Gods, she is like a  _rat_ ," Loki hissed.

Tony grinned. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You may, but I may not answer."

"When you came here, and we were fighting, I was drunk off my ass. Then, suddenly, I wasn't. How? Why?"

"You assume me to know?"

"Yeah, you're the magician."

Loki shook his head, "I do not," he paused. "Hmm. Perhaps... when I used my magic to catch you from falling, I also managed to heal you."

"Perhaps? You aren't sure?"

"No. I -" he shook his head, trying to think. "I have been practicing my healing abilities - I have only to assume that I healed you by instinct when I used my magic."

Tony shrugged, "okay... well, thanks, I guess."

Suddenly, the waitress came back, setting two plates on the table, in front of Tony and Loki. "There 'ya go!"

"That was  _fast_. Did you know we were comin'?"

She giggled, and began heading back.

"Excuse me?" a male voice called out. "Did you just give away  _our_  breakfast? We were here first - we've been waiting  _ten minutes_ , and you juve  _gave our food away_?"

Tony leaned out of the booth, looking down the aisle. "You know... we don't mind waiting," he told the waitress.

Her face turned red, and she apologized to both the man and Tony, then scurried to the kitchen.

"We should give -" Tony began.

"Goddamn billionaire, thinks he can whatever he wants," the man said, loud enough for Tony to hear.

Tony raised an eyebrow, and turned back to Loki, "never mind." His eyes fell to Loki's plate, which was half empty. He snorted, "guess that wouldn't have worked, anyway."

Loki wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "what?"

"You're like a black hole."

"I am a God, and -"

"Let me guess," Tony interrupted. "You're a God, and you have a much bigger stomach than a 'mortal'."

"Exactly," Loki sneered, aggressively taking a bite of his bacon.

Tony laughed, and tore his toast, dipping it in the yolk of his egg. Loki watched, ever so intently.

"You know," Tony muttered, handing Loki the toast, "I might have to go away for a few days."

Loki took the toast, and slowly brought it up to his mouth, eating it. "Why?"

Tony shrugged, shoving a piece of egg-covered toast in his mouth. "Business trips, alien invasions, shit like that."

"I am not apologizing, if that is what you are trying to accomplish."

"No, I'm a genius; I know you wouldn't do that."

"How is everything?" the waitress asked.

"It's," Tony looked down at Loki's plate, "great. You can bring the bill anytime. This will be finished in a second," he pointed as his own plate.

The waitress nodded, and headed off.

"Here," Tony slid his plate towards Loki.

Loki gave him a questioning look.

"I need this to disappear into a black hole," he winked.

"You do not want it?"

Tony crinkled his nose, shaking his head.

Loki shrugged, and dug in.

When the waitress returned, the plate was empty.

Tony stood, and looked at the name-tag the waitress was wearing. Mary. "Mary... Nice name. Listen," he handed her a hundred dollar bill, "here's a hundred. Their breakfast is on me. Throw in a bit of extra everything, will 'ya? Keep their coffee mugs full. Let 'em know it was compliments of that goddamn billionaire. The rest is for you."

"I - I..."

Tony winked, and grabbed Loki's hand, leading him out. On their way by that man's table, he coughed, mustering out the word "spoiled." Tony simply stopped walking for a moment, to shoot the man the biggest shit eating grin he could manage, before continuing onwards.

"That was oddly kind," Loki noted.

"What?"

"Your donation."

Tony snorted, "you make it seem like that was charity."

"Wasn't it?"

Tony looked up at him. He was wearing a smug smile - that bastard, he was playing Tony's game; being an ass as innocently as possible. "I think I like you."

"You do not."

"I don't?"

"You  _love_ me."

Tony chuckled awkwardly, "yeah."

Loki suddenly stopped walking, and looked around. "What is there to do here?"

"I... uh. What kind of things do you want to do?"

"What do _you_ do for fun?"

Tony looked around the street, frowning. What did he do for fun? Drink. Eat. Sleep. Fly. Party. Fuck. Tinker. "Nothing you'll find out here, I guess."

Loki sighed, and continued walking, heading back to the tower.

Once they were on their floor, Loki pulled his shirt off, and tossed it on the back of the couch. "Your realm is unbelievably dull."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your world, your people... is it all dull. I am not entirely sure why I wish to rule such a place. Perhaps you  _need_  me more than I thought."

"Are you kidding? Don't be so quick to judge, you haven't even seen anything yet, you've just been in my tower - and that alone should impress you."

"What on this realm is there worth seeing?"

"Out of everything in the world? Um, a lot. I'm a  _billionaire_. I can show you the greatest things you'll ever see, and then some."

"I have been to far better places than this realm," Loki rolled his eyes, laying on the couch.

"You've only been here and the street - and the street doesn't hold anything of interest. This is a great place."

"I expect you can provide proof?"

"What?"

"Show me something 'great'."

Tony paused, thinking about what he could show Loki. There was only one great thing he could think of... Actually, there was seven. He began wondering off down the hall as pulled his phone out of his pocket and began dialing. He grabbed the tv remote from his bedroom, and walked back out to Loki.

"What is it?" Rhodey's voice asked through the phone.

"One sec," he tiled the phone away from his mouth, and handed the remote to Loki. "It's in my bedroom, Jarvis will help you." He turned and left the room, making his way down to his lab. "Rhodey, I need a favour."


	7. Around the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony shows Loki a few great things...

Eight hours after Tony descended to his lab, Tony walked back upstairs.

Feeling exhausted, he went straight to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed.

"Hello, again."

"Shit!" Tony jumped, sitting up. He turned to Loki, and blinked. "Why are you in my bed?"

"You gave me this," Loki held up the remote. "How long ago was it, ceiling voice?"

"Eight," Jarvis replied.

"Yeah, I got busy."

"You do that a lot."

"Don't complain, I did it for you."

"Me?"

Tony nodded, and laid down on his back. "I'm giving you proof. Tomorrow morning, you and me, baby."

"What are you talking about?"

Tony didn't answer.

"I am talking to you," Loki growled.

Silence.

He lightly punched Tony's arm. Tony frowned slightly, but didn't move. He had fallen asleep.

Loki sighed, and turned his attention back to Tony's tv.

"Sir, it is time to wake up."

Tony groaned, bringing his pillow up over his head.

"Sir, you are on a tight schedule. I highly recommend getting up."

"What time is it?"

"Five a.m."

"Fuck off, Jarvis."

"Sir, please get up."

Tony sat up and threw his pillow to the wall. "Turn the fucking lights on; the sun isn't up yet."

A second later, the room was dimly lit.

Tony got out of the bed, and took off his shirt and pants. He grabbed a suitcase that he kept in his closet, and grabbed a few pairs of pants and shirts, shoving them inside, before getting dressed.

When he turned back around, he immediately noticed a lump in the bed that  _shouldn't_  be there. "Jarvis? Who's that...?"

"That would be Loki, Sir."

"Loki? Wh-?" he shook his head. "I shared my bed with an evil Demi-God. That's great," he muttered to himself, walking over to Loki. "Loki, wake up," he lightly tapped Loki's shoulder, then ducked; hiding on the floor.

Loki shifted, making an incomprehensible noise.

Slowly, Tony rose himself to his knees, immediately meeting Loki's gaze, "don't kill me."

Loki rolled his eyes, and rolled over to his back, yawning. "You had better have good reason for awakening me."

"My proof. Come on, we're leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Yeah, come on. Grab your clothes and let's go."

Loki's eyes narrowed.

Tony sighed, and pulled the blankets off the bed, then froze. Loki's shirt and pants had somehow disappeared in the night. "Did you sleep like that?"

"Like what?"

"Naked."

"I am not naked."

"Close enough." Tony grabbed a few of Loki's shirts and jeans, throwing one of each on the bed, shoving the rest in his little suitcase. "Get dressed, we have to go."

"Sir, your helicopter is awaiting," Jarvis announced.

"Helicopter?" Loki questioned.

"Yeah, we gotta fly."

"Would your armour not be more efficient?"

Tony shook his head, "no.  _Come on._ "

Loki made a sound of protest, but got out of bed, and dressed himself.

"This whole being on time thing is a pain in the ass," Tony noted. "Jarvis, remind me  _not_  to  _ever_  do this, again."

"Duly noted."

"Where are we going?" Loki asked, once he was dressed and ready.

Tony grabbed the suitcase in one hand, and with his other, he grabbed Loki's hand, and beginning to lead him to the elevator, "the roof."

Once they were up on the roof, they got in the awaiting helicopter, and began flying towards the airport.

"You could have used your armour for this."

"Too tired," Tony snuggled into his seat, getting as comfortable as he could. "Sleeping."

A few minutes later, Loki shot Tony with his magic, waking him.

"Fuck!" Tony nearly yelled, slapping his hand on his cheek. "I'm not hard to wake up - stop doing that!"

"Apparently we have arrived."

Tony looked out the window; they were a few feet away from his plane. "Good, let's go." He grabbed his suitcase, jumped out of the helicopter, and headed off to his plane with Loki behind him. "When we get on here," he yawned, "be sure to look out the window."

"Why?"

"View," Tony mumbled, walking up the steps.

Without a word being said by anyone on the plane, Tony and Loki both sat down across the aisle from each other, and got comfortable. Within minutes, they were both asleep.

As the plane was beginning to get ready to land, Loki walked inside the cock pit, silently standing behind the pilots, watching.

"Loki," Tony whispered, getting out of his seat to quietly chase after him. He grabbed onto Loki's hand, and tried to pull him out.

Loki jerked his hand back, and gave him a look that clearly said 'fuck off.'

"You can't be in here," Tony mouthed.

Loki frowned, slightly cocking his head to the side.

Tony nodded to the door, and tugged on Loki's arm, again.

"Let go of me!"

The pilots jumped, and looked back at Tony and Loki. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, I know this is your plane, but we're trying to land, and -"

"I know, I know, we're leaving," Tony interrupted, glaring at Loki.

"You do not tell me what to do," Loki growled. "I have had enough of that."

" _No one_  is allowed in here when they're trying to land. That includes you."

"As they said, it is  _your_  plane. You may be here if you please - and since you love me, you will have no problem allowing me here, as well. Am I right?"

Tony opened his mouth to object, but quickly closed it, taking a second to think. "I'll give you both five hundred dollars to never repeat that to anyone in any way," he offered the pilots.

They both looked at each other.

"A thousand, and you can keep your jobs."

"Deal," one said, while the other nodded.

"We have  _got_  to talk," Tony muttered, dragging Loki out. Without further argument, Loki followed.

"What?!" Loki hissed when the door was the closed behind them.

"What was that?!"

"Indeed, what  _was_  that? I am not going to give up and follow your senseless rules."

"You can't just go tell people that I love you."

"If it is true, what is the problem?"

Tony paused, taking a moment to think.  _What is the problem?_  He walked back over to his seat, and sat down."Thor. Thor said to stay low-key. Making people pay attention to you is  _not_  staying low-key. Do you  _want_  to get discovered? To go back to Asgard, or that silent aisle?"

Loki crossed his arms across his chest, saying nothing. His answer was already clear.

"I'm trying to help you. Unless you know someone else who can do that, you're Laurence - at least until Thor comes back, and Laurence is shy and doesn't talk. Now, come on," he stood up, and headed out of the plane. "Welcome to Italy."

"What is in here that needs our presence?"

"You'll see," Tony grinned, heading down the steps, walking towards the awaiting car.

"I am not going in there," Loki said.

"Oh,  _come on_. You just flew in a helicopter and an airplane. I think you can handle a car."

Loki crossed his arms across his chest, not moving.

Tony sighed, and took his shirt off.

" _What_  are you doing, now?"

"Shut up for a minute," Tony muttered, walking behind Loki. He rolled his shirt up and tied it around Loki's head, covering his eyes. He then grabbed Loki's hands, and led him towards the car.

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me."

Loki huffed his breath, but didn't argue.

Keeping one hand in Loki's, Tony moved behind him, and gently pushed his head downwards, "put your feet up."

Loki did as he said, and slid into the car. Tony followed, sitting beside him.

Tony gestured and mouthed for the driver to start driving. "Now, imagine we're back on the plane, flying. There's just a bit more turbulence. We're... uhh... running over birds."

Loki raised an eyebrow, "is that supposed to calm me?"

"Yes?"

"You are an idiot, Stark."

"You can call me Tony, you know. That  _is_  my name."

"I prefer Stark."

Tony rolled his eyes, "whatever."

A few moments later, they went over a fairly large bump in the road, and Loki's hand slammed down on Tony's knee, gripping him.

"Ow!" Tony nearly yelled.

Loki quickly released Tony's knee, and took in a few deep breaths.

Slightly worried, Tony slid his hand back in Loki's. "Are you okay?"

Loki didn't answer.

Tony used his free hand to side his shirt down Loki's face, letting it hang across his neck. "Was that making it worse?"

Loki stared straight ahead, remaining silent.

Tony leaned forwards, looking at him. His pupils were dilated. He looked... scared. Was he having a panic attack?

Tony did the only thing he knew what to do: he used the same technics that calmed him down when he was having a panic attack. He didn't have any music to play, so he started humming out the lyrics to the first slow song that came to mind: Love Song by AC/DC.

After a couple of verses, Loki glanced at him.

"Are you okay, now?" Tony asked.

"Now?"

"You just... had a panic attack or something."

"I am not weak enough to get panic attacks," Loki growled.

"I do, and I'm one of Earth's mightiest heroes. It's no big deal if Earth's most feared villain does, too. It's... life."

Loki scoffed, ending the conversation. For the rest of the car ride, he kept his eyes looking downwards, and held onto Tony's hand.

Tony made a mental note that for the rest of the trip, they would be sure not to use a car. They'd use helicopters, walk, ride bikes, or do anything else they had to.

"Congratulations," Loki crossed his arms across his chest as he stood staring at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, "you cannot even build a tower correctly."

"What? No, this -"

"You admire a falling tower. That is  _not_  impressive."

Tony sighed in defeat. Obviously it wasn't going to be quite as easy to impress a God. Next stop: China.

"It is a wall?"

"Yeah! All across China."

Loki turned to Tony and stared at him, "it is a  _wall_."

"It was made by human hands, hundreds of years ago."

"You are proud of a  _wall_."

"But -"

"It is a  _wall_ , Stark."

"Alright. This is the stonehenge," Tony announced as they arrived at the site in the United Kingdom.

"You brought me to see a bunch of  _rocks_?" Loki rolled his eyes and immediately began walking away.

Deciding that man and nature made history wasn't the right path to take, Tony took Loki to Canada. "This is the CN tower. It was the world's tallest free-standing structure and world's tallest tower for thirty some years, I think."

"There is a taller one."

"Yeah, the... Burj Khalifa."

"Then seeing this is useless, it is no longer special."

Tony stared at Loki as he walked back to the car, getting inside. Tony sighed and followed, instructing the driver to take them back to the airport so they could go to San Francisco.

"It is a bridge. We drove by many of those already."

"But this one is -"

"Still a bridge. Asgard's is more impressive."

"I guess you wouldn't be interested in the Channel Tunnel then?"

"No," Loki shouted as he walked away.

Tony sighed and followed, deciding to go to Arizona, next. Surely even Loki must find one of these interesting.

"It's..."

"Beautiful?"

"A pit."

Tony groaned and threw his arms in the air, retreating from the Grand Canyon.

Loki raised an eyebrow and followed.

"Mount Everest!"

"What is so great about this?"

"It's the biggest mountain on Earth. It's the fifth furthest point from the center of the Earth."

"Is that supposed to impress me?"

"Apparently not," Tony muttered.

"It is a waterfall."

"Yes! Victoria Falls."

"There are better ones in Asgard."

As Loki walked away, Tony stared at him. He was absolutely  _impossible_  to impress.

"Okay, this  _has_ to impress even you."

"What is it?"

"Parícutin."

"That means nothing to me."

Tony looked down at his pamphlet he got at the gift shop they passed through, "it says here that it's a cinder cone volcano... There's a village nearby with the same name... and it's covered in lava."

"It has erupted?" Loki questioned, sounding almost interested.

"Yeah, in 1952."

"Well, that is boring."

"Would you rather it erupt now?"

"Yes."

Tony sighed, shoving the pamphlet in Loki's hand, and walked away. "Impossible.  _Impossible_."

"Mm... the Arctic you say?"

"Y-yes," Tony stuttered, shivering. He tripped over a piece of ice sticking out of the ground, and as he was about to hit his face off of the ground, Loki caught him and pulled him up to his feet.

"Can I know why we're here, yet?"

"A-A-Aur-aaaaaaaggh," Tony groaned, giving up on trying to talk, and threw his arms around himself.

"Are you dying?" Loki stared at Tony, amused.

"N-No. C-c-cold."

Loki rolled his eyes, "so far you have shown me humans lack of ability to build a straight tower, how you admire rocks, and how cold you get."

"H-how are you... n-not...?"

Loki frowned, "I do not mind the cold. Here," he took off his jacket and put it around Tony. "Now, why are we here?"

Trying to ignore the oddly appealing scent of Loki's jacket, Tony shook his head, "I-I... don't... I... Oh my god-d. Loo-ook," with his shaking hand, he pointed upwards at a bunch of dancing lights in the sky.

Loki's eyes curiously followed the direction Tony had pointed in. He stopped walking and stared at the colourful lights. "It is..."

"S-s-stup-pid?"

"No, you have got that covered quite nicely. This is rather... interesting."

Tony stared at him, mind-blown. He had actually managed to find something that Loki liked. He felt beyond accomplished... and cold... and things were beginning to get really dark.

"Stark?"

Tony slowly woke, trying to find more blankets. Suddenly, something was on top of him. He groaned and opened his eyes to see that it was a pile of blankets. He promptly spread them on top of himself and cuddled in a ball underneath them all.

"You're welcome," a voice muttered.

Tony peaked his head out from underneath the blankets to see who was there. To Tony's immense surprise, it was Clint. "Why are you in my bedroom holding blankets?" he questioned through a very groggy voice.

"I was hoping we could have some fun," he winked.

"I've always known you always had a thing for me, and trust me, I'm flattered that you do, but I don't like you that way. I actually don't like you at all."

Clint threw more blankets at Tony. "You were cold, jackass."

"How did you know that? Are you so into me, that you were stalking -" before Tony could finish his sentence, he went into an uncontrollable coughing fit.

"You're sick."

Feeling how sick he was, he groaned and disappeared back underneath the blankets.

Suddenly, the door creaked open.

"So, what's with the cat?"

"What cat?"

"This one," Clint picked up the kitten and set it on the bed. It instantly jumped up on Tony and laid on his back. "It's been by your side since you came through the front door a few days ago.

" _Days_?" Tony mentally cursed. He had left Loki alone for days - again.

"I'll get Steve; he knows what happened," Clint said as he left, closing the door behind him.

Tony rolled over, forcing the kitten to jump off of his back. As he positioned himself in a comfortable position on his back, the kitten jumped back on top of him, cuddling up on his chest. "So, what's your story?" he asked the kitten. "You want me to think you love me so I'll feed you?"

The kitten simply meowed in response.

"Used by women, friends, gods  _and_ animals," Tony sighed. "At least you're kinda cute."

The kitten began purring, so Tony pet it, causing it to purr more. "You're worse than my car," Tony stated.

Suddenly, the door opened again and Steve walked in. "Hey, Tony. It's good to see you awake."

"Apparently it's been days?"

"How much do you remember?"

"Uh... Nothing. I was cold... that's it." Cold because he was in the Arctic with Loki - no big deal.

"You caught hypothermia. A strange man brought you back to the tower about -"

"What? Who?" Tony was more anxious to know what happened to Loki - and if the man who brought him back could be Loki.

"I didn't catch his name."

"What did he look like?"

"He had gray hair, a long gray beard -"

"Never mind.," that was definitely not Loki. "So, when was I brought here?"

"Three days ago. We brought in a doctor to examine you. You have a liver disease."

Tony groaned, "can I be alone?"

Steve nodded and headed for the door, "Clint and I will be back to check up on you later."

Tony sighed when he left. Liver disease. Great. Just what he needed.

The kitten jumped off of Tony and walked over to his head to playfully head-but him.

"You seen anyone else around here? Tall, slim... God, I wish you could answer me."

The kitten ran to the end of the bed and meowed, then looked upwards at the corner of the room. Tony's eyes followed. There was a camera... and it was definitely not Tony's usual camera he had hidden everywhere - this one was working, and looked pretty cheap. Clint and Steve were watching him. So much for being alone.

Slowly, Tony got himself out of the blankets and balanced himself with several things as he made his way to the wall and yanked the camera off of it, disconnecting it. He tossed it to ground, and slid down the wall; unable to hold himself up any longer. He brought his knees up to his chest, resting his forehead on the top of his knees. He felt nauseous, his head was killing him, his body ached, he was freezing cold, and he felt too weak to do anything; it was almost the worst he had ever felt.

Suddenly, he was being picked up. His head snapped upwards and he looked at who was carrying him.

Loki.

"What are you-?! Where did you-?!"

"Shut up," Loki hissed. He set Tony on the bed and ripped his shirt off.

"Loki?!" Tony coughed. "What -? I'm sick!"

Loki frowned, "I am trying to help you." He lightly placed his hands on Tony's chest. After a few seconds, he took them off, "how do you feel now?"

"Terrible."

Loki's frown deepened.

"What was that about?"

"I am trying to heal you.""You're doing a -" Tony sneezed, "- terrible job."

"I cannot simply snap my fingers and  _poof_ , fix all of your problems. I can only heal what I know how. Your disease seems to be causing a lot of problems..."

"You healed me before."

"I do not know how to fix the curse of being cold." Loki firmly placed his hands back on Tony, atop his liver, and attempted to heal him again.

This time, Tony moaned in response to Loki's magic.

Loki fought a smirk as he finished healing Tony.

When he was done, Tony sighed. "That was..."

Loki sat back, and enjoyed the alluring look on Tony's face. He had never healed another mortal before, and Tony's reaction to Loki's magic both times it had been used, was a lot more satisfying than Loki thought it would be.

"Uhh... What happened to that cat?" Tony asked, changing the subject.

"You like the cat?"

Tony nodded, "it was warm."

Loki grinned, and disappeared. Where he sat moments ago, was the same black kitten that had been with Tony for the past three days.

"Did you just..." Tony groaned and threw a pillow over his head. Of all things to have to deal with when he was sick - it  _had_  to be magic - and not the helpful kind.

The kitten – Loki – curled up beside Tony and started purring.

_What the hell_ , was all Tony thought as he rolled onto his side and snuggled the cat, closing his eyes.

"OW!" Tony yelled as he woke up. He threw his hand onto his face, which had just been cut. He glared at the cat, who suddenly turned back into Loki. "What the hell was that for?!"

"You just rolled on top of me!" Loki yelled back.

"So you scratch my face?!"

"Well you ignored my hissing!"

"You scratched me! That's cruel; I'm already sick!"

"You are also extremely heavy to have on top of a mere  _cat_!"

"Well excuse me for being human."

Loki huffed his breath and got off the bed, heading for the door.

" _Why are you naked?!_ "

Loki stopped and turned his head to look at Tony from the corner of his eye. "Cats do not have clothes that I can keep while I shape shift."

"Where are your clothes?"

Loki shrugged, "your teammates have them."

"Why?"

"I gave you my clothes in the Arctic when you passed out, trying to ensure you didn't die. I know not what they did with them."

"You... hold on. If you can... then... were you that old guy who brought me back here?"

Loki nodded.

"And you've stayed by my side in the form on a cat?"

Loki didn't answer.

"Thank you," Tony said sincerely. No one else would have done that; not even Steve was staying by Tony's side too much: and spying did  _not_  count. The fact that Loki was evil, and he still stayed by Tony - even if he was only planning to use Tony - was really something. "I, uh... I appreciate that."

"You had better. After wasting an entire week of my life to show me mere rocks and crooked buildings, you force us to leave once you begin to show me something worth my while. You are in my debt: I did not have to save you."

Tony nodded, "I know you didn't. Thanks."

With that, Loki left the room. Curiously, Tony grabbed a bunch of blankets to wrap around himself, and followed. A moment later, a small black cat ran out of the kitchen, down the hall and into Tony's bedroom. Tony stared after him, then glanced over to the kitchen, and back to his bedroom door.

What was that all about?

He walked into the kitchen, but there was nothing unusual or off, so he headed back into his bedroom to find Loki sitting in the middle of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest, and blankets covering his lower half.

"I forgot to mention..." Loki muttered, "your teammates are spying on you."

Tony stared at Loki for a quick second before putting the pieces together: Loki just walked out of Tony's bedroom completely naked, and ran back in as a cat once he realized he was being watched by the other Avengers. He couldn't help chuckle slightly.

Loki shot him a death look.

"I'll deal with it," Tony laughed. He wondered around the floor, disabling every camera that wasn't his that he could find. With the help of the Loki kitten, he found and disabled them all, then collapsed onto the couch immediately after he was done, exhausted and freezing. He curled up in the corner with his blankets tightly wrapped around himself.

Loki changed back to his normal self and sat down at the other end of the couch, observing Tony.

"Why aren't you sick?" Tony questioned.

"I am a God. I do not get effected as easily as you do."

"Isn't weather something that happens everywhere? Is Asgard some temperatureless place, and you're just immune to all climates?"

"No," Loki shook his head. "I just do not mind the cold."

"I wish I was more like that."

"No, you don't."

"Don't I?"

"No."

Suddenly, the elevator doors opened and Loki immediately turned back into a small black kitten.

"Back so soon?" Tony asked without turning around.

"It's been a few hours," Steve stated. "We just came to see how you were."

"It must be hard to keep an eye on me when I disable all of your eyes."

"Tony, we only had to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, well, I'm fine. You don't have to spy on me. Aren't you supposed to be above all that?"

Steve shrugged, heading into the kitchen, "you seem to think it's the solution to everything."

Clint popped himself down on the couch beside Tony, holding a bag of open cheezies. "So, where the hell were you that you caught hypothermia?"

"Why are you in my kitchen?" Tony shouted at Steve, ignoring Clint.

"I'm making you some soup. You need it."

"No, I don't."

Steve peaked his head out around the corner and gave Tony a pointed look. "You haven't eaten on your own in three days and your lips are turning blue."

"Then give me a cheeseburger."

"That's not healthy."

"Fine, give me pizza."

"How is that any better?"

"The only soup I have is tomato, and pizza has tomato sauce. It's equivalent."

Steve poked his head around the corner and held up a can, "I brought you some chicken noddle."

"Fuck," Tony cursed under breath. "I'm still not hungry."

"Hungry or not, you have to eat."

"Give me one of  _those_ ," Tony demanded, eyeing Clint's cheezies.

Clint snorted, "not happening."

"Then get out."

"Hell no. I'm here with Steve."

"Cap, you can leave, too," Tony called out.

"If I don't make you soup, you won't eat. Unfortunately, I can't let you starve to death."

"I can make it myself." Tony threw his blankets off of himself, abandoning them as he got up and made his way to his kitchen. He began shivering immediately, but he tried his hardest to hide it.

The Loki kitty immediately got up and walked closely beside Tony, careful not to trip him.

"Stark, what are you -?!" Clint began.

"Sit back down," Steve ordered.

"I'm fine!" Tony protested. "If I need you, I'll let you know," Tony promised, dismissively.

"No you won't," Clint muttered.

"That's why we needed the cameras," Steve agreed.

"Call me in twenty minutes and make sure I'm not dead, then. I don't care, just leave."

"We don't want to be here any more than you want us here," Clint began.

"You could have fooled me. You aren't -" Tony cut himself off, pausing. He felt like he was about to end up in a coughing fit, and he needed a minute to contain himself. "You aren't needed," he finished, in a softer tone.

Clint rose from the couch and faced Steve, "let's just go then. He won't die, he's too stubborn."

Steve shot Tony a look that clearly stated 'I can see right through your act, I know you'll mess up.' before he left with Clint, leaving soup to boil on the stove.

Tony followed them to the elevator to make sure they left without doing anything else. When the doors closed and the elevator began descending, Tony let his guard down and collapsed onto his knees, then slumped down to the ground. He had completely used up all of his energy. He felt so exhausted, he could pass out - but unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky to actually do that.

Loki turned back into his normal self and picked Tony up, carried him back to the couch and set him underneath the blankets.

"Loki?" Tony breathed out.

"Hm?" Loki questioned as he made sure all of the blankets were covering Tony.

Tony didn't reply, so Loki headed into the kitchen. He grabbed the opened can that Steve had previously showed, and read the directions:  _Empty soup into saucepan and slowly add one full can of water, stirring constantly. Heat, stirring often. Season to your personal preference. Refrigerate unused portions promptly._

Steve had done everything, already.

Loki stuck his finger in the soup, getting a feel for the temperature. "Ríða," he nearly yelled, retracting his hand and shaking it in the air, before sticking it in his mouth.

"What did you just do?" Tony yelled from the living room, knowing that the tone of Loki's voice meant he did something bad.

"Nothing," Loki grumbled, searching Tony's kitchen for something to put the soup in. Eventually, he came across a bowl. He grabbed it, and began pulling out all of the drawers, looking for a spoon. When he found one, he poured the soup in the bowl, then brought it out to Tony.

"Why are you doing this?" Tony suddenly questioned, as soon as Loki walked in the living room.

"I need you," he answered simply.

"Why?"

"You have a special part in my plans."

"What are your plans?"

"Well..." he stood in front of Tony, handing the soup out to him.

Tony sat up, shaking his head, "I don't like being handed things. Set it on the table." Loki gave Tony an odd look, but did as he requested. "Thanks," Tony muttered as he leaned forwards, grabbing the bowl.

"I plan on making you  _mine_."

"What does that mean?" Tony was positive he didn't want to know the answer, but that didn't matter; he  _had_  to know. He had to protect Earth from whatever it was Loki as planning.

"I suppose I can trust you... After all, if you ruin my plans, I will kill you."

"You can trust me," Tony confirmed as he nervously stirred the soup in his bowl.

"I'm going to get close to you," Loki whispered, sitting down beside Tony, "I am going to get  _so_  close, that you will not believe that my intentions could be anything but pure. I'm going to get every bit of information from your mind, and I'm going to use it to destroy you and everyone you care about; everyone that could stop me. I am going to tear you apart, because you are the key to getting to the world."

"So," Tony said just before he flooded his mouth with a spoonful of soup. "To get to the world... you need me. You can't do it without me."

"Do not twist my words, Stark. I can do it without you. It is only easier and much more entertaining for you to do all of the work and destroy your own self in the process."

"So, it's easier to carry me to bed and keep an eye on me and make me soup and put up with me all the time than it is to take over the world?" Tony paused, taken aback by his own words, "why am I saying that like it's hard to believe?"

"Tell me, Stark: would you consider ruling Asgard easier than making an Asgardian meal?"

Tony stared at his soup, thinking about it. Everything in Asgard was probably all magic based, and he didn't know how magic worked. He wasn't magical; he couldn't use it. That being said, if magic could impress humans... could science impress Gods? If he did it right, he could - no. No, no,  _no_. He shook his head, trying to rid his mind of those thoughts. Tony was a genius. That meant he could figure out how to make a simple meal, without going batshit crazy and trying to rule a planet. With or without magic, he could find a way - even if he had to rub two sticks together to make a fire. "I guess it would be."

Loki nodded.

"So, I'm..."  _supposed to be in love with you - which apparently means being your slave - until you decide to use me in your plans to rule the world._

"You are, what?"

"I'm feeling better," he lied. "Must be the soup."

"Must be," Loki agreed unconvincingly. "I do have magic fingers."

Tony snorted, laughing, "I guess you do."

"Do forgive me, for this."

"Hm?" Tony looked over at Loki - only to see a brief flash of green, before darkness.


	8. Odin's Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor returns: bearing the news that Odin wishes to speak to Tony, and proceeds to force a deal upon him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't edited this, so if there's any mistakes, my apologies >_

_Bang!_

"Be _careful_!"

"Sorry!"

"Lift him up, over -"

"Do you have  _any_  idea how  _heavy_ he is?! Why can't you just carry him?"

"He should be kept straight, I don't want to put any stress on his body."

Tony frowned, and slowly opened his eyes, looking around. In front of him was Steve, carrying his feet. He looked up, and Cling was carrying his arms. "What are you guys doing?"

"Taking you to your bed. You knocked yourself out, genius," Clint answered.

"What?"

"We came to check up on you twenty minutes after we left - like you suggested," Steve began to explain. "You managed to make the soup as you said, but when we got here it was on the floor on you were unconscious on the couch with a bleeding head."

"So, that's why I have a headache..."

"Clint also hit your head off the wall."

"Gee, thanks, Barton."

"You're the one who knocked yourself out - after catching hypothermia," Clint muttered, setting Tony down on the bed. "Seriously,  _where_  were you?!"

"I don't know, I - it doesn't matter."

"How did you knock yourself out, Tony?" Steve asked.

"I... don't know."

"You really can't take care of yourself. Poor Pepper..." Clint muttered.

" _Hey_ ," Tony glared at him, and Clint immediately gave him an apologetic look. "I can take care of myself."

"You've proven that really well these past few days."

"That wasn't my fault."

"Then who's was it? The fairy's?"

_Loki's_. "That... I... err... Where's that cat? I need a word with him."

Clint and Steve exchanged a look. "You need a word with him?" Steve repeated.

"Yeah, I get it, I'm crazy for needing to talk to a cat. Where is he?"

"He's asleep on the couch."

"Go get him for me."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Never better."

Clint and Steve exchanged another look, before Clint shrugged, and began heading to the living room.

"Be careful!" Tony shouted after him. "He'll probably hurt you when you wake him up!"

Clint snorted, already half way down the hallway. He returned a few moments later with the cat purring in his arms.

"You hurt me, but not them? After all  _I_  have done for you?" Tony growled at Loki kitty.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Clint asked.

"Put him down and leave."

Without hesitating, Clint set the kitten down on the foot of the bed, and left. Steve eyed Tony for an extra moment, then followed, leaving Tony alone with the cat.

"What is wrong with you?" Tony angrily whispered.

The kitten meowed.

"Go back to being yourself."

With a flash, Loki revealed himself.

"What the fuck did you do to me?"

"What are you talking about? How dare you talk to me that way?!"

"You said 'forgive me for this' and then you did something. What was it?"

"I do not know what you are talking about."

"Earlier. You made me soup, gave it to me... you said you were going to use me."

"I did not?"

Tony blinked. "Yes... you did."

"I have no recollection of such thing. You must have dreamt it."

Tony shook his head, "they told me. Clint and Steve; they told me I had soup. I wouldn't have made it."

"And why would I have?"

"Because... making me soup is easier than ruling the world. You need me.  _How_  do you not remember this?"

Loki looked at Tony, then sighed, looking like he had a massive headache. "You are insane, Stark. Get to sleep."

"I just woke up."

"You have clearly not slept enough."

"You're lying to me."

"I have no reason to do so."

"Yes you do, otherwise you wouldn't be lying."

Loki narrowed his eyes. "I refuse to be called a liar when I am indeed  _not_  lying." He stood, and walked out of the room.

"Loki! Get your naked ass back here!" Tony shouted, causing himself to go into a small coughing fit. When he stopped his coughing, Loki was leaning against the doorframe, with his arms crossed. "Over there," Tony pointed to his dresser. "On the right, top drawer."

Loki frowned, but went over to Tony's dresser, opening the specified drawer.

"Grab any pair, put 'em on."

Loki held up a pair of red boxers, examining them. "You wish me to wear your undergarments?"

"I  _wish_  you to stop being naked, yeah."

Loki hesitated, not wanting to wear Tony's most personal apparel.

"Think of it as... a symbol of my love."

Loki turned and looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"What?"

"What is wrong with wearing nothing?"

"Nothing - when you're alone. I don't exactly want to see... that much of you."

Loki sighed, and stepped into them. They didn't fit right; so, he magicked them to fit him properly.

"There, you look good - now  _stop_  using magic."

"I do what I want, Stark."

"I thought we've been over this."

Loki huffed.

"Question."

Loki looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"My head... Why does my head hurt if you didn't do something to me?"

"You were walking around with your blankets wrapped around yourself. After you made your soup, you took it and headed back to sit down; then you tripped, threw your soup across the room and hit your head. Stop blaming me for your misfortunes."

Tony sighed in defeat. "Fine. Sorry for blaming you. Can you please heal me, now?"

Loki studied him for a moment. "You expect it of me?"

"I didn't..." Tony sighed, "I didn't mean it like that. I only meant that my head is killing me and I'd really appreciate it if you could heal me."

Loki rolled his eyes, then walked over to Tony, kneeling beside the bed. He placed his hands on Tony's head, and let his magic to its job.

Tony closed his eyes and hummed softly, enjoying the tingling sensation as his headache began disappearing. "Thank you."

"I am hungry."

"I am, too. Let's go out for... uhh, Jarvis, what time is it?"

"It is just after nine thirty, Sir," Jarvis replied.

"A.m. or p.m.?"

"P.m., Sir."

"Wanna go out to dinner?"

Loki nodded.

"Great. I'm in the mood for steak, what about you?"

Loki shrugged, "err... perhaps."

Tony grinned and jumped out of bed, heading over to his closet. He grabbed a pair of black dress pants and a plain white dress shirt, and slipped into them, before grabbing a red dress shirt, and another pair of black dress pants, throwing them over to Loki. "It's a classy place. You might have to adjust the pants, but..."

Loki nodded, accepting the clothes without complaint.

"Tomorrow I guess I'll have to buy you more clothes."

Loki made a 'pfft' noise as he shoved his legs into the pants, "I cannot wait."

Tony snorted, and threw a pair of socks at Loki's head, "you can't be more excited than I am."

Loki frowned, throwing them back at Tony, then put his shirt on.

"They're for you, smart ass," Tony smirked, and threw the socks back at him.

"You are clearly the one who needs them: your feet smell rachet. You should hide them as best as possible."

Tony stared at him in disbelief, but couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Are you kidding? Did you just go there? You may be a God, but you have the feet of a 'mortal peasant'."

Loki gave him the most offended look. "You dare?!" he roughly threw the socks at Tony, hitting him in his face. "Mind your words,  _mortal peasant_."

"Now  _I'm_  a peasant?" Tony laughed and threw the socks back at Loki, "that means so much coming from something  _I don't believe in_."

"Of course you don't. You will never accept that someone could be better than you."

"I know plenty of people who are better than me!"

"Name one person."

Tony opened his mouth to answer, but no names came out. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, and crossed his arms across his chest.

Loki threw the socks at Tony's stomach, snorting, "my point. If no other mortals can compete with you, you will never accept that one such as I could be better in every aspect."

"You are  _not_ better than me in any way," Tony threw the socks, "and you sure as hell aren't better in every aspect."

"Aren't I?"

"No, you aren't. I'm awesome."

Loki's stomach rumbled, and he sat down on Tony's bed to finally put the socks on his feet. "We will continue this later."

"You really want to set yourself up for embarrassing lose like that?"

Loki looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

Tony innocently raised his hands, "just sayin'." He grabbed another pair of socks, and headed out to the living room.

Once Loki finished putting his socks on, he followed, and put on his boots.

Tony sprinted into the room with both of their jackets. He handed Loki his jacket, then put his shoes on. "Ready?"

Loki nodded.

Tony hit the elevator button, and waited. When the doors opened, he gestured for Loki to head in first.

"So," Tony began, when they were down in his garage. "I have a convertible."

"Yes, I know."

"I was thinking..."

"That is a first."

Tony elbowed Loki, smirking. "If we put the top down, and I don't speed, would you try riding in it? It's not enclosed, and you'll be able to feel the wind; it wouldn't feel like you're trapped in a car. We can go a few feet and just test it out. If you're against it, we can walk or something, I just thought I'd suggest it, because -"

"You are rambling," Loki muttered, interrupting him.

"Sorry."

"I suppose I will... trust you, and give it a try."

Tony smiled, and practically ran towards the convertible, jumping over the door and into the car. Loki mimicked his actions, a little less eagerly, and sat in the passenger's seat.

Tony started the car up, and slowly began backing up, glancing at Loki every other second. Loki sat still, seeming completely unbothered. Tony continued: driving forwards, towards the exit.

Just before turning onto the main road, he stopped, and looked over at Loki, "are you okay?"

"I'm... good, yes."

Tony nodded, and turned onto the road, making sure not to go over the speed limit.

Loki put his hands in the air, enjoying himself. "You can speed, if you so wish."

Tony grinned, and pushed his foot down on the petal, speeding up.

Slowly, Loki lifted himself up, so that he was almost standing.

"Sit down," Tony demanded.

"No."

"Be fucking careful."

Ignoring Tony, Loki stood up - and then, got pushed backwards by the wind, falling over his seat.

" _Loki_!" Tony yelled, nearly completely turning around in his seat to see if Loki fell out of the car or not. He didn't; he was in the back seat, in the most uncomfortable looking position. Tony immediately pulled the car over, and took a second to recover from his near heart attack. In the back seat, Loki began laughing.

" _What_ is so funny?!" Tony hissed, turning to glare at him.

"You are so terrified. And of what? Nothing could possibly happen to me."

"Why the hell did you do that?"

"It is... It reminds me of our transport devices in Asgard."

"So, you attempt suicide for nostalgia?"

" _Suicide_? That could not have killed me."

"You never know. You could have fallen off the side and gotten your head squished."

"Worse things have happened."

Tony sighed. "Get your ass back up here, and let's go eat."

Loki shifted, and squirmed, but couldn't get up. He let out a breath that was almost a laugh, and gave up, remaining in his position.

Tony rolled his eyes, and turned the car off so he could stand on the passenger seat, lean down to grab Loki's hands, and pull him up to his feet.

"I could have done that," Loki muttered.

"Sure you could've." Tony hopped back in his seat and started the car, again, as Loki reclaimed his seat beside Tony. "Don't do that, again."

Loki nodded, and Tony continued driving - very slowly.

When they got to the restaurant, Loki ordered a large salad, a baked potato, a plate of garlic bread, and some chocolate milk. Tony ordered a meat lover's steak, with mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, carrots, a bun, a glass of wine - and an extra glass incase Loki decided he wanted some.

"You have such an odd taste," Tony said when the waiter left after bringing them their drinks.

"Why?"

"I've never met anyone who's ever ordered a larger assortment of things, before."

"Is that bad?"

"It's interesting."

Loki gave him an odd look, and took a sip of his chocolate milk. "I wish to try all of the foods we do not have in Asgard."

"If you don't have salad or potatoes in Asgard...  _what_  do you guys eat?"

Loki shook his head, "do not be absurd. Of course we do. It is merely made differently, I assume."

Tony shrugged, taking a sip of the wine. "Fair enough."

Shortly after, the waiter returned with their food. They both immediately dug in, not saying another word while they ate.

"May I practice my... err, 'people skills'?" Loki requested when he finished.

"What do you mean by that, exactly?" Tony questioned, finishing the last of his mashed potatoes.

"Hand me your money and leave. I will deal with it."

Tony stared at him for a moment, before shrugging, and handing the money over to Loki. "Knock yourself out. Just make sure you leave a tip." He stood, pushed his chair in, and nodded at Loki, before leaving.

Loki watched as he left, then grinned, pulling Tony's cell phone out of his pocket, that he had pickpocketed earlier.

When the waiter came back with the check, Loki flicked a bit of magic into Tony's phone, making it go off. He held a finger up, signalizing for the waiter to wait a moment, and put the phone up to his ear. "Hello?" He waited a second, then put his hand on the microphone. "It is St - er, Tony. He went to the restroom, and I think he needs a hand with something," he told the waiter. "He has a bit of a rash. Will you please excuse me for a moment?"

The waiter nodded, looking slightly disturbed as he walked away.

Loki put the phone back in his pocket, and headed off to the men's room. Without bothering to hide in a stall, he used his magic to transport himself to the main entrance of the building - right behind Tony. "Come on," he said, walking past him.

"That was fast. How much did you tip?"

"I didn't."

"Uhh, that was rude," Tony told him, catching up with him. "I have a reputation you know."

Loki snorted in response.

"What does  _that_  mean?"

Loki handed Tony all the money, "I told him you had a rash and needed a hand in the restroom."

"You... didn't pay?"

"No."

Tony stopped walking. "You  _didn't pay_?"

Loki stopped as well, and turned to stare at Tony. "No?"

"You said you were going to work on your people skills, not make us both thieves."

"Yes, it appears I have lied."

"We're going back."

"Why?"

"That is one of my  _favourite_ restaurants, I can't fuck them over like that."

Loki snatched the money from Tony's hand, and shoved it in his own pocket. "Tell them to bill you, if you _must_."

"They only take cash, so give that back."

"No."

"Loki."

"Do you not love me?"

Tony froze. Was that it? Were those the literal rules of Loki's spell? Tony really had to do exactly what Loki wanted, without any objections, just because he was in love? That wasn't love. But... it was magic, and Tony didn't know magic. All he had to go off of, was Loki's word; which may be exactly what the spell was. He couldn't test his luck. He only had one choice: he had to play along with whatever Loki said. So, he held onto Loki's hand and smiled up at him, "of course. Let's go home." He'd have to make it up to the restaurant, later.

When they got back to the tower, Tony made a lame excuse to go to the lab for a few minutes, to make sure an ongoing experiment was going correctly and it wasn't going to blow the tower up. Loki dismissed him without question.

"Jarvis?" Tony asked, as soon as he walked through the door. "Where's Loki?"

"He is in the penthouse, Sir."

"Good. We need to talk." There was no way Loki would just steal because he could, and Tony needed to know why. Even  _he_  wasn't that low to steal without reason. He  _had_  to have one. He was up to something. But  _what_?"What purpose does a God have for stealing dinner?"

"I am afraid, Sir, I do not know. What is your situation?"

Tony looked around, as if someone would be hiding somewhere.

"I fought Loki with Cap... he got frozen, and I got surrounded by magic. He - Loki - he tried to do some spell to make me fall in love with him; obviously it didn't work. I don't know how, but I'm immune to his magic, I guess. So, quick thinking: I pretended I was. Still am."

"Congratulations, Sir."

Tony shot a witty smile to his computer "Now he's making me do whatever he wants by using the excuse 'don't you love me?' and I have to do it, if I want him to think I that am. I need him to trust me so I can stop him from trying to take over the world, again. I just don't know how this spell is supposed to work. I'm  _stealing_ just because I 'love' him."

"Perhaps he is testing you?"

"Testing me?"

"To ensure that the spell is working."

"Huh... I guess that makes... How did I not think of that?"

"I believe all logic has left your mind. You are whipped, Sir."

"Fuck you," Tony snorted, getting up from his chair. "Do me a favour, delete this conversation from existence."

"What conversation?"

Tony grinned as the elevator doors closed, taking him up to the penthouse.

After ascending only a few floors, the elevator shook, and the lights flickered. Tony grasped onto the bars along the wall, anticipating the worst. Then, the doors opened, and he was on his floor. He quickly jumped out, and looked around.

There was a giant hold in his window. "Jarvis, where -?"

"Thor has arrived."

Tony stared at the window for a few moments, then sighed. "It's about goddamn time."

"Brother?!" Thor yelled. "Tony Stark?!"

Tony ran towards him, trying to silence him before anyone else in the tower could hear him, "shh! Shut up!"

Thor grabbed Tony, pulling him into a tight hug. "It is good to see you again, friend!"

"Put me down!"

Thor did as he said, but didn't stop grinning at him.

"Loki?" Tony called out.

Moments later, Loki peaked his head around the corner, walking out of the hallway.

"Where were you?" Tony questioned.

"Your closet..."

Tony shrugged, and turned to Thor. "Did you do that?" he pointed to his window.

"It is more than likely," Loki responded on Thor's behalf.

Tony glared at Thor.

"I... apologize. However, I come with news."

"Good, or bad?" Tony questioned.

"It is wonderful news!" He turned to Loki, "father has learned of your escape, and -"

" _What?!_ " Loki hissed. "You were  _not_  supposed to let that happen!"

"You were using excessive amounts of magic... Heimdall is under orders; he could not remain silent any longer. However, he had mentioned you have been staying with one of my fellow comrades, and you have saved his life. Is this true?" Thor was beaming, looking back and fourth between Tony and Loki.

"Yeah," Tony confirmed. "I was taking him on a trip around the world. We went to the Arctic, and I caught hypothermia. He saved my life, then he healed me. He's healed me a few times, actually."

"The first time was an accident," Loki retorted.

"You know, I'm trying to help you stay  _out_  of your Asgardian Justice. Saying your good deeds was an accident does  _not_  help."

"I am proud of you, brother!"

"I've chosen well," Tony grinned.

Loki's eyes widened, and he shook his head.

"Chosen what?" Thor asked.

"Uhh..." Tony glanced over at Loki.

Loki waved his hand back and fourth in front of his neck, signalizing for Tony not to go there.

"I, err, you know. My apprentice."

"Ah," Thor nodded, "yes. You have chosen very well! You are doing a marvelous job, friend!"

Tony nodded, "thanks. So, your dad knows. What happens next?"

"Father has said that he wishes to speak with you," Thor smiled at Tony. "However, he cannot leave Asgard, and he does not believe that mortals belong in Asgard."

"That's no problem, I was building a communicator from here to Asgard, I just need your help for the final touches."

"That sounds wonderful! Where is this device?"

"It's in Washington. I'll go get my armour. Loki, you coming, or you wanna chill out here for a while?"

"I do not wish to stay with your horrid teammates."

"You hate them more than you like us."

Loki shrugged, not denying it.

"Whatever, come on. Thor, we'll meet you on the roof."

"Aye," Thor nodded, then left in the hole he created when he entered.

Tony sighed, staring at the huge hole in his window, again. He shook his head, and stepped into the elevator with Loki. "I hate that guy, sometimes."

"Try spending a thousand years with him."

Tony snorted, "no thanks."

When the doors opened, again, Tony went off to get his suit, while Loki headed for the exit. Within the minute, Tony met Loki at the exit, and crouched down. Loki climbed on his back, and then Tony took off, heading for the roof.

As soon as they came into sight, Thor swung Mjolnir, and took off flying, ready to follow.

"We just have to go this way for a few minutes, then we'll be there," Tony yelled out to him. "Try to keep up!" he upped the power in his thrusters, flying faster.

Thor grinned, and began flying faster, as well. "Man of Iron, you forget:  _I_  am faster."

"Forget? I have to have known that before I could forget, goldilocks!" Tony sped up some more. As did Thor.

Loki leaned back, putting his hands on Tony's ankles, and let his magic seep into Tony's suit, giving it more power, and therefore, more speed.

Without his consent, Tony began flying faster and faster, until he broke the sound barrier. "Shitshitshit, what are you doing?!"

"Winning."

Tony looked over his shoulder: Thor was far behind, but he was catching up. Fast. "More power!" Tony yelled, laughing.

Loki gave him more magic, keeping him in first place.

"Whoa.  _Whoa_ , we have to land."

Loki ignored him, continuing to feed his suit power.

"Loki, stop it!"

"Sir," Jarvis' voice said, "your suit cannot handle much more power."

"Loki, you're going to -" his thrusters flickered on and off, and then they were falling, with Thor too far behind them to be of any help. "Fuck!" Tony shouted.

Loki shape-shifted into a gigantic bird, and grabbed Tony with his feet, slowly flying safely to the ground.

"What the hell?!"

Loki set Tony down at the front doors of the NASA building, and turned back into himself - completely naked.

"Fucking hell," Tony grabbed Loki's hand and dragged him around the corner of the building. He took his suit off, then jumped out of his clothes, giving them to Loki. " _Stop_  doing that when you don't have any other clothes," he muttered, stepping back in his suit.

"That was... fun, though."

Tony glared at him, and slowly started to smile. "We do make a decent team, you and I."

" _I_  did all of the work."

"All you did was sit on me and shoot magic into my suit."

Loki shrugged, doing up the button on the jeans, "using magic is more skillful than merely flying in a suit of armour."

"Do you know how impressive my suit is? My tech is at least ten years in the future. I  _made_  it. Hence the whole genius deal."

"Oh? You are a genius?" Loki snorted, "I would have never known."

Tony's faceplate lifted, and his jaw dropped. "You did not just say that."

"I did. Let us go inside before Thor lands."

Tony looked up, to see that Thor was heading towards the ground at an incredibly fast speed. "Oh. Shit. Let's go" He practically ran to the front doors, stepping inside with Loki. Moments later, there was a loud thud, and several large pieces of the ground went flying, then Thor began walking into the building. "It is not a gracious victory if you cheat."

Tony held up his hands innocently, "wasn't my idea."

Loki scowled at him.

"So, come on. The communicator's this way," Tony gestured for them to follow as he began leading the way down the long hallway. Eventually, they came to the room that was built just for the arc reactor, and they headed inside. "So, this satellite is what I need your help with. It has to face Asgard, and I don't know where that is."

"Asgard should be..." Thor grabbed the satellite and tilted it. "There."

"Great!" Tony grabbed the communicators and turned them on, handing one to Thor. "I'll need you to go to Asgard so we can test them out. You should be able to hear and see me through this. The camera is here," Tony pointed to the camera on the front of the communicator, "make sure it's facing you. There's also one on the back; if you want to show me something, there will be a camera icon on the screen, just tap it. Gently. When you want to talk, hold this button down on the side. Oh - almost forgot: to connect our devices, hold this red button. When it flashes, that means I'm trying to call you."

Thor nodded, "I understand."

"I'm gonna go over to the other side of the room so we can make sure everything works right."

Thor nodded, and Tony went to the other side of the room, and pressed the button, requesting to connect with him.

Thor pressed the button, accepting the connection.

Tony waved and pressed the button to speak, "can 'ya hear me?"

"I hear you well. Can you hear me?"

"Perfectly clear. Alright, can you go to Asgard?"

Thor nodded, "I shall hope to hear from you in a moment." Then, he was gone, as was their connection.

Tony waited patiently to receive a call.

Minutes seemed to pass.

He sighed, "it's not working." He reached to re-adjust the satellite, but Loki grabbed his wrist, stopping him. "Give him a minute."

Tony groaned, and began pacing.

Eventually, Thor returned. Without a word, he tapped the satellite, then left.

Tony looked at Loki questioningly, and he merely shrugged in response.

Soon enough, his communicator began flashing. "It works? It works!" He pushed the red button, and grinned, "I can't believe it works!"

"Are you the mortal I have heard so much about?"

Tony's eyes widened, and he swallowed hard, staring at the old man on the screen. "Uhh... You must be Thor's father."

Loki glared at the back of the device from where he stood, a few feet away.

"I am. I understand that you are the man responsible for Loki."

"You could say that, I guess."

"Either you are, or you are not. There is no guess."

"I am. I'm... he's my, uh..."

"Apprentice!" Thor's voice finished from somewhere in the distance.

"Yeah, that. He's been good. Saved my life, kept me in good health... he's good."

"How had Loki escaped?"

"Err..." he glanced over at Loki, who had a blank expression. "He... He's mischievous, what can I say?" Tony shrugged.

Odin's eyes narrowed. "Where is he now?"

"He's with me."

"Show me."

Tony glanced back over towards Loki: he was shaking his head. "No," Tony refused.

"Loki is my son -"

"He doesn't seem to think so."

"I am the Allfather -"

Tony raised an eyebrow. He could see where Loki's attitude came from. "Not to rain on your parade, but I'm an atheist. That doesn't mean much to me."

"Loki has much to pay for."

"And he's paid. He's paid more than enough."

"That is not your place to decide. You are a mortal, interfering in the debt of a God."

"No, I'm a person, stopping another person from being unnecessarily tortured to death."

Suddenly, the connection was lost.

"That went well," Loki noted.

Tony gave him a worried look. "Is he going to come here? Did I just piss him off? Why didn't  _Thor_  call me? What did you do to make him so keen on torturing you? Why did he hang up on me?"

"He was more than likely waiting for Thor. He would have confiscated your communicator at once."

"Why'd he hang up?"

Loki shrugged.

The light began beeping, again. Tony stared at it.

"Answer it, you fool!"

Tony immediately pressed the button.

"I have news!" Thor shouted.

"Thor? What is it?"

"Father has agreed to let Loki stay with you."

Tony smiled, "great."

"On one condition."

"Great," he muttered, with heavy sarcasm.

"You have three weeks to change Loki of his ways. If you fail, Loki shall go back to the Isle of Silence, and..."

Loki grabbed the communicator from Tony, "and  _what_?"

"And the Man of Iron will have to pay for helping break free and hiding a guilty prisoner of Asgard."

Tony took the communicator back, "pay  _how_?"

"... It has not be decided, yet."

"But I didn't even help him escape!"

"Father... does not see it that way."

Tony sighed, rubbing his temple with his free hand. "So, I have three weeks? That's it?"

Thor nodded.

"Are you coming back?"

"I am afraid I have been forbidden to leave Asgard until the three weeks are over."

Tony nodded, "fuck. Okay. I guess... I should go: I have a lot of work to do. Just keep the communicator close, incase I have to, y'know, talk to you."

"Likewise, friend."

Tony nodded, and hung up. "Alright. Let's go, I guess."

Loki followed, silently.

When they got outside, Tony crouched down and Loki jumped on his back, then they took off. Minutes later, they flew into the hole in the window that Thor had so graciously created, and Tony set Loki down, then went to his bedroom to take the suit off and put some clothes on. When he went back to the living room, Loki was gone.

"Jarvis? Where'd he go?"

"He appears he has left the building."

"Where would he be going...?"

"Unfortunately, Sir, I do not know."

Tony sighed. "When he comes back... tell him to come visit me in my lab."

"Affirmative."

Tony grabbed his suit, and headed down to his lab to examine it. He wanted to know if there were any traces of Loki's magic, and if there was anything he could do with it.

Hours passed.

Several times, Tony thought he was going somewhere, but it led to a dead end. He had no more leads, no more options: he was stuck.

Pissed off, he threw his tools on the floor, and stormed off to the elevator, punching the button to go up his penthouse. Too slowly, he was brought up - then he continued to stomp off towards his bar to get a drink. He grabbed a tall glass, and gave himself a generous amount of scotch.

When he was finished his drink, Loki returned.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey,  _you_!" Tony yelled; his getting progressively more angry as he spoke.

Loki froze, staring at him with a questioning look.

"Where were you?"

"Out."

"Where?"

"Side."

Tony narrowed his eyes, then snorted, laughing. He patted the space next to him, offering the space to Loki.

Loki accepted, slowly sitting down beside him, without a word.

Tony poured a bit of scotch in the glass, and handed it to Loki; then took a sip directly from the bottle.

"Thirsty?" Loki questioned, watching him.

"Mhm."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, don't mention it, I got lots. Help yourself, whenever you feel like it."

"Not for this."

Tony looked at him, frowning in confusion.

"Earlier. What you said to my - er, Odin."

"What'd I say?"

"You... defended me."

"Of course. I have to."

Loki smiled sadly at him, then took a fairly large swig of the scotch.

Tony knew the look on Loki's face all too well. How many people have stuck up for Loki before? Now, he thought that Tony only did that because he was under a spell. "I don't care what you did," he continued. "Torture isn't the answer. I wouldn't have even let you go back to Asgard in the first place if I knew what kind of justice they serve. It's not right. I'll do whatever I can to ensure you don't have to go back to that. You've got enough 'punishment' for a lifetime... how long is your lifetime, anyway?"

Loki glared at him for a while, before cracking a smile. He clanked his glass against Tony's bottle, and finished his glass. "Your words... are appreciated."

Tony smiled at him.

Loki returned the smile, before announcing, "I am going to rest."

"You alright?"

Loki got up off of the couch, and looked down at Tony. He nodded once, then left.

Tony watched him leave, then thought over the day he just had: he woke up with hypothermia, got healed, knocked himself out, again, got healed, again, cured Loki of one of his fears, went out for dinner, stole said dinner, talked to the God of all Gods, and just had a moment with an evil God.

He stared at the ceiling, and took another mouthful.

He was definitely not sober enough for all of that.


End file.
